I would like to thank Squarespace sponsoring
this video and for helping me build my own website. More on that later. I think a lot of people freak out over not
having direction in life. See, when you’re hungry, you know exactly
what you need to do to not be hungry anymore. When you’re tired, you know exactly what
you need to do to not be tired—because those are things necessary for our survival. But
how about when you’re feeling directionless? There is no biological map telling you exactly
what you need to do—but that’s when you can turn to your values and principles in
life. See, your values and principles are essentially
what guides you through life—and if you follow them, it’s what going to dictate
your behavior and the decisions you make. It’s what decides what kind of person you
are and what kind of people you decide to keep around you. It’s what you accept and
what you do not accept. It helps you with your priorities, how you treat yourself and
how you treat others. It might help you with your academic and professional decisions or
help you pick a partner. Even smaller things like whether you should take the bus or walk
or thrift instead of shop. As you can hear it’s pretty powerful. And
it’s not exactly anything profound. Human beings have always sought out guidance—whether
it be through religion and gurus or parents and teachers—some kind of higher power or
figure which in turn help shape our values and principles. Your faith may teach you about
compassion and service; your parents may teach you about honesty and respect—and as a kid,
all you really know is what’s being passed on to you by someone who got it passed on
to them. So, essentially, you could be living a life lead by the values and principles of
your great, great, great, grandmother’s kindergarten teacher. …and although that might be great and all—we’re
all different, and times are different—life is different. What’s been passed on to you
hasn’t been customized for you; your wants and your needs in life. And sometimes it doesn’t
need to be. Compassion doesn’t need to be customized. Kindness doesn’t need to be
customized. But some things do. Like, I sometimes receive messages from people
saying things like “I want to focus on my art, but my parents don’t support it”.
And sure, partly it might have to do with the parental instinct of looking after their
child, but part of their reaction is based on both what got passed on to them and what
they have experienced in their lives. Perhaps they grew up struggling financially so money
was really tight, so being financially secure is extremely important to them. Meanwhile
you haven’t had that experience, and what matters to you more than anything is fulfillment
through work. This is why it’s so important to have our
own set of values and principles based on who you are and what you want to achieve in
life. Simply accepting someone else’s as being your own is like grabbing someone else’s
map to their house, hoping it will somehow lead to your house. It won’t, and you’ll
just end up lost, when the whole point of this all is to find direction. Now, how you develop your own set of values
and principles, besides having it being passed on to you and other external factors, is through
life experience. You know? We meet people, we go through things, we fail, we succeed,
we go to school, we travel, we get hurt, we start looking up to other people, we read
books, listen to music and so on. Through these experiences, we learn what’s
important to us and what’s not. We learn what we value and what we don’t value, what
we want and what we don’t want. And although a lot of those core values and
principles that we grew up with may remain with us, we’ll also form our own personal
ones—and that’s what’s going to act as our compass in life, because ideally, you’ll
be living a life that aligns with your values and principles, where every decision you make
is in accordance with that. Ok, so, let’s say you want to become more
aware of your values and principles and live a life that aligns with them, where do you
start? I want to start by saying that there are no
rules. As long as you’re not hurting yourself or anyone else, no one can tell you that your
values and principles are wrong or that they don’t matter. And also, this is just what works for me.
There are tons of books and other resources you can turn to if you want to learn more
about this topic. With that being said, I think a good place to start is to list the
things that are non-negatable to you. Not to society, not to your family, not to anyone—just
you. As Dr. Stephen Covey wrote in his book “7
Habits of Highly Effective People” a principle is a natural law like gravity. Principles,
like gravity, are in control. The way I interpret that is that it’s basically
the things that are as true as the fact that a runner needs to run. Ok, so, when you list these things, ask yourself
what you’re seeking and why. Like, to me, loyalty is one of those things.
The reason why is because I’m seeking commitment and trust in any relationship that I have,
it’s very important to me, whether it be romantic or friends, and anything other than
that isn’t something I want in my life. Because it’s my natural law, I distance
myself or let go of anyone who goes against that. It doesn’t “depend”, there is
no “what if”, it just is—like gravity. Now, once you’ve listed your natural laws,
continue by listing things that perhaps aren’t as evident to you, but that you still live
by, or at least try to live by. So, one of those things for me is to “always
give credit where credit is due.” I don’t have a 100 % success rate at this, but I always
try. The reason I’m seeking to do that is because it’s nice. It’s encouraging. The
same way you light up when getting recognized or accredited for something good you’ve
done; others light up as well. If someone cooked a good meal, I make sure they know
that. If someone said something that sparked an idea in my mind, I make sure they know
it. We need more appreciation in this world. Now, not only is doing this “exercise”
really helpful, but it’s also really fun because there are no rules. You can have as
many values and principles as you want or as few as you want. You can literally have
something like “if it’s a 30-minute walk or less, I will walk”. That way, next time
you’re going somewhere, you’ll already know you’ll be walking if it’s less than
30 minutes. And now you might think, well that’s a silly thing to put on my list.
Yeah, well, if you only knew how much time we spend contemplating silly things like that
you’d be surprised. Now, at the end of the day, it’s about identifying
your truths and letting those truth guide you through life. Are there ever going to
be exceptions, even to the natural laws? Perhaps. Will your values and principles ever change?
Of course. Because you change. You grow. What’s important to you now may not be important
to you in 5 years. What you value in a partner today may not be something you value in the
future. What you think you want from life now may not align with what you’ll want
for yourself next year. I mean, just look back on your own life and you’ll find that
to be true. And that’s okay, but that’s also why I think it’s important to re-visit
and re-evaluate our list from time to time. That way, you won’t lose sight of where
you’re heading in life. I’ll be sharing a few more of my values
and principles on my Patreon if you’re interested in checking that out. I share blog posts approximately
every week there, sometimes in text and sometimes in audio and I also occasionally post bonus
videos. Now, let’s talk about today’s sponsor: Squarespace. Now,
if you’re a blogger or artist or entrepreneur or if you just want a landing page for your
brand, I think a website can be really valuable. The reason I put off building one for so long
was honestly because it just sounded too complicated and I didn’t want to invest that time. But
with squarespace you can build a professional looking website and it’s really easy. You
can connect your social media and keep track of the traffic and so much more. I’m still
working on my site; I will of course announce when it’s up

To Anyone Needing Direction in Life

27 thoughts on “To Anyone Needing Direction in Life

  • February 23, 2020 at 6:52 pm
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    What's one value or principle that you live by?

    Reply
  • February 25, 2020 at 3:27 pm
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    I'm in Scouts and I think our morals are great for anyone to follow
    Scout Motto: Be prepared
    Scout Slogan: Do a good turn daily
    The Scout Oath:
    On my honor, I will do my best to do my duty to God and my country and to obey the scout law; To help other people at all times; To keep myself physically strong, mentally awake, and morally straight.
    The Scout Law:
    A scout is trustworthy, loyalty, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean, and reverent.

    Reply
  • February 25, 2020 at 4:19 pm
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    You're beautiful and brilliant girl. We get ur uploads the appropriate time with important topics. Keep going Lana. You're great mentor. 🙏

    Reply
  • February 25, 2020 at 6:23 pm
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    It's really nice , love to get more videos and talk 😌

    Reply
  • February 25, 2020 at 7:40 pm
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    This Topic is so revelant to me right now, That i started crying two minutes into it. Thank you very much for your thoughts. You have Great Talent 🙂

    Reply
  • February 25, 2020 at 7:46 pm
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    I don't know whether it's right or wrong but there is a thing I like to live alone in most of my time. I don't think I am an introvert but weak at communication. Do you have better way to heal this? Coming on subway I really appreciate you the way your interpreted thinks in the video.

    Reply
  • February 25, 2020 at 8:02 pm
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    I am glad you're encouraging,it requires discipline to do a lot. 🙂

    Reply
  • February 25, 2020 at 8:58 pm
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    wow…very inspired. And what means the chain?

    Reply
  • February 25, 2020 at 10:35 pm
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    I love and appreciate what you got going on. I wish you nothing but success.

    Reply
  • February 26, 2020 at 12:31 am
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    What if you want freedom? Freedom from working and just doing whatever I want whenever I want? Cause I only found one solution: becoming rich. And that’s like playing the lotto. sigh

    Reply
  • February 26, 2020 at 2:38 am
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    You make exactly the videos I need. 😀 Thank you.

    Reply
  • February 26, 2020 at 4:54 am
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    Yeah life directioning is cool and all, but why u so goddamn cute

    Reply
  • February 26, 2020 at 5:13 am
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    Ahh, to be young and inspired. I feel that you will be successful in whatever you choose.You have a great outlook on things

    Reply
  • February 26, 2020 at 7:24 am
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    You're so pretty 🖤🖤

    Reply
  • February 26, 2020 at 9:00 am
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    I need English subtitles😊😊!

    Reply
  • February 26, 2020 at 11:10 am
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    The best direction everyone should have is taking time to figure out what we truly want in life. One who walks in the footsteps of another leaves no footprints. But without those footprints to follow, what is going to bring us to a fork road which allow us to reach our destination? Stay humble, be experimental but be decisive when it is time to make a decision.

    Reply
  • February 26, 2020 at 12:05 pm
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    Ha ha! Cute. Tongue-tied lithp (lisp) 🙂

    Reply
  • February 26, 2020 at 12:13 pm
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    #islam

    Reply
  • February 26, 2020 at 12:45 pm
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    Babe u re soo beautifull😗😗

    Reply
  • February 26, 2020 at 1:03 pm
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    Lana what are your favorite books? I really want to have in-depth readings about social and philosophical topics. Thank you and I hope you notice this! :))

    Reply
  • February 26, 2020 at 1:11 pm
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    At your tiny age i must say you have grown much beyond your age.

    Reply
  • February 26, 2020 at 4:04 pm
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    Thnx

    Reply
  • February 27, 2020 at 5:04 am
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    You videos are so calming. I was having a breakdown then I started watching it. It made me so calm Thank you Soo much! .

    Reply
  • February 27, 2020 at 5:52 am
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    Your videos genuinely helped made me realize I’m not alone

    Reply
  • February 27, 2020 at 7:09 am
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    What's your MBTI personality!?

    Reply
  • February 27, 2020 at 11:33 am
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    We don't mature….We evolve

    Reply

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