-Thanks to newly
developed technology, we here at “Late Night”
now have the ability to record the tiny voice that is
inside Donald Trump’s head. And you might be
surprised to know that, like everyone’s inner voice,
Donald Trump’s is filled with paralyzing
fear and self-doubt. So, here is the tiny voice in
the back of Donald Trump’s head. ♪♪ -…sitting in
this room doing that. -Hey, Donald. It’s the tiny voice
in the back of your head. And I don’t mean to
freak you out, but who is talking right now? I hear a man’s voice,
but I do not see anyone — Oh, okay. Wait. There’s a man in front of
you wearing camouflage. Okay. That makes
a lot more sense. I thought it was
a talking bush for a second. Man, those outfits really work.
He just blended right in. Hey, speaking of outfits, I think it’s time
we come clean with ourselves. You look terrible
in Windbreakers. For real. People make fun of how
you look in suits, with your super-long ties, and
they think, “Can he look worse?” And then you put on
a Windbreaker, and it’s like, “Yeah.” You do not look good in
casual clothing. You look like the umpire at
a company softball game. Also, I don’t mean to freak
us out, but who is ta– Oh, okay. It’s this little bush.
And goodbye, bush. Hey, Donald. It’s the tiny voice
in the back of your head. And it’s time for one of
the things you hate most — physical activity. Here you go. Dig some dirt.
[ Grunts ] And then put it back
in the hole you dug it out of. And then one more time.
Dirt out of the hole. And then drop it
right back into the hole. Oh, my God.
Oh, sweet Jesus. ♪♪
[ Cheers and applause ]