– I’ve got the need. The need for speed listening. – Let’s talk about it. (upbeat synth music) (fireball crackling) – Good mythical morning! – Thank you for making us a
part of your daily routine, and on Thursdays, for asking us to give you advice. – Yes.
– As if, somehow you have confidence that our advice would be worth taking. It will be!
– It is. Question comes from @linkneals who asks, “How do I learn faster?” – “How do I learn faster?” Great question. Interesting Twitter handle. – Yeah.
– Plural version of me. Don’t know how I feel about that. – You don’t know, it
could just be Link Neals. They could just be going out there.
– Totally, totally different person. I’d like to meet you, Link Neals. Our names are very similar. (laughing)
– Mm hmm. – There’s a trend called speed-listening. – It’s a trend. – People set things on
2x speed for podcasts. – Right.
– TED Talks, even for college lectures. – Uh huh.
– To learn things quicker. Real time is for losers. – That’s right so today
we are going to test out our speed-listening skills as we play: (acoustic guitar strums)
♫ Once, twice, three times ♫ ♫ the listening speed ♫
(bubbles popping) – So according to one study, people speak, on average,
about 105 words per minute, but you can, com–
– Unless you’re southern. – Right.
– Like, we are. We probably–
– We talk a little bit more slow.
– Speak like 89. – Yeah, to 70. – Words per minute. – But so, that’s where the
average person speaks, 105. But then the average person
can comprehend twice that. 210 words per minute.
– Mm hmm. – Hence the speed-listening trend. – [Sped-Up Voice Recording]
And this is what it sounds like when I’m talking twice as
fast as I would normally talk, but can you still
understand what I’m saying? – That was amazing! How do you have that power? – Well I guess I’ve been
practicing quite a bit. – I, I understood it perfectly. – Yes. – But it was done in post. – Yes.
– So, that’s just, full disclosure. We have designed a test, an experiment, if you will, to determine who
is the best speed-listener. Let’s get to it. (brass instruments sound)
(bell rings) – [Both] Round one! – Okay, we’ve moved the desk over to give Rhett room to participate first. That’s right, Rhett.
– Lot’s of room! – You’re gonna have to test your speed-listening skills first. In this first round I have created a monologue of direction,
which then you have to listen to while remaining–
– So have I. – Motionless.
– Yes. – And then once my direction is complete, then you have to follow the instructions that I gave you. You have to do, what I said do, and then I’m gonna grade you
based on a number of points and award a point value. Hence, the competition. The winner of which, gets crowned the speed-listening king and
get’s a speed-karaoke track! – Woo! – Which, I’m very excited about. – Yes!
– So, I hope I win it. Rhett, are you ready for me
to play your instructions? – I guess. – Now, just so you know,
even though it’s 2x and you should be able to understand it, I have taken a little bit of liberty to make it a little bit more interesting. – Mm hmm.
– And not so direct in terms of your directions.
– Right, that’s the same thing that I did for you. (audience laughs)
– Okay. Listen up, 2x speed, here we go! Hit it! – [Sped-up Voice Recording]
There are a lot of famous poses. The discus thrower, the
Heisman, Rose from the Titanic. Let’s combine all three. First, pick up the Frisbee
for the discus thrower. Not the football for the Heisman. Hold it with your right hand and tuck it under you armpit. Now, of all the directions
to throw your left arm out, we could go with up, back, to the side, which is what we’re gonna go with, or out front, which we
won’t be going with. Next, it’s time to incorporate Rose. Stand with you legs
together, and lean forward, like you’re leaning over
the hull of the Titanic. Don’t worry, Jack’s gotcha! Finally, ears are what hears
and your maw can guffaw, but Rose closed her eyes,
so you should do that, too. – Oh my goodness. (chuckles from audience) – That’s it.
– Whoo hoo hoo! (Link chuckles)
That really, boy I wish you could see a brain-scan. And the speed–
– Just lighten up. – Part would be really red. (Link beeping) – But you know what, I
think I got most of it. – You think you got most of it? – I think I got most of it. I heard that I should take the Frisbee, and I should put it under,
(makes airlock sound) My right arm! I also heard that I should, ♫ Hold out my left hand to the side I don’t know why I’m
singing, I’m just excited. – I didn’t instruct that, so that’s a negative one point. – Hold it out. Like up? It was like, we’re gonna do it up, or we’re gonna do it out, or something. Since you already told
me that it wasn’t out, I’m gonna go with up. And then, I’m supposed
to lean over the edge of the Titanic? (audience member laughs) And then, close my eyes like Rose! ‘Cause that’s what she did. This is my pose, the pose of Rose. (laughing from audience) It kinda looks like I’m
makin’ a bad symbol. (loud laughing) So I’m gonna do a thumb’s up! (raucous laughing) – Okay. I got my um, my, report card here. Now, hold the pose, but
you can open your eyes now. – Okay
– So I know that your eyes are closed. I’m a give you, a check for that.
– Yep. – But starting at the
top, holding a Frisbee tucked under your right armpit. I’m gonna give you that, even though. – I’m not holding it? – Technically, you
missed the Heisman part. – Well, it didn’t say
to stand like Heisman. – But holding the Frisbee
was the Heisman part. – Okay.
– But I’m still gonna give it to you ’cause it’s under the right arm. Left arm, you have that up. Wrong, it was supposed
to be out to the side. – Oh ho but that’s what I did originally! – I said, I said you
could go, you could go up, down, out to the side,
which we’re going with, or– – No–
– Up, which we’re not going with. – No, but then a second ago
when I had it out to the side you said, “But that’s
not what I instructed.” So that’s why I went like this. So you gotta, you don’t
have to give me that point. – [Female] You were singing, he was saying that he didn’t instruct
you to sing. (laughs) – Oh really?
(loud laughing from audience) Okay, you can take that point away. I heard to the side. I thought you were
tellin’ me not to hold my arm out to the side.
– After the recording was over? – Yeah, like you had
inadvertently given me a clue. So you can take that away,
but I definitely was, this is what I wanted to do, right here. This is what my pose was supposed to be. But, this is what I did.
(loud laughing) – That’s what you did. – Yeah yeah.
– So you don’t get a point. Okay, and then legs
together leaning forward, I’m giving that.
(high-pitched chime sounds) So I’m giving you three
(high-pitched chimes) out of four, which is pretty great.
– Okay. – And you’re trying to
throw me under the bus sayin’ I tricked you and you
woulda got four out of four, but you still get three. – Okay! (claps) – Three points for Rhett! (brass instruments sound)
(bell rings) – [Both] Round two! – Ohhh kay Link, I’m gonna do the same thing
for you that you did for me. Again, I have some instructions for a pose that you should assume, possibly using some of
those items behind you. And they are not very straightforward. Are you ready?
– Ready. – Hit it! – [Sped-Up Voice Recording]
You’re a beautiful delicate man, Link, but let’s add some
power to your flower. A cake will make you flabby,
but a steak will make you abby. So grab that T-bone, and
hold it in your teeth zone. Next you need to add some
pounds to your arm mounds. Something feels right
about the barbells, but, we’re getting beefy, so let’s
use the road less traveled, and pick the cowbells. Pick ’em up, and hold ’em above your head. To be powerful, you need
to strike a power stance, so let’s take as much
space as you can abide, and spread them legs extra wide. We wouldn’t want you to
neglect your gluteus, so bend them knees and
stick out your booteus. ‘Cause a workout ‘aint
squat, without a squat. (exhales) – Okay. (chuckling) I know I’m supposed to get a T-bone steak, and, some dumbbells, but, the thing that confused me was, oh my goodness. This is juicy, man. – Yeah.
– Um. – It’s blood, actually. – The thing that confused me was, it said take the T-bone steak and put it in my T-zone. Which is here.
(audience laughs) – Go with your instincts, man. – When I was going through puberty my mom taught me how to wash my face. She was like, “You get a
lot of oil in the T-zone.” – Yeah. Right.
(audience laughs) – So you want me to put
this steak on my face, which is awesome.
– Okay. – But then I have to hold the dumbbells. – That’s gonna be tough.
– And, I think in both hands I
have to hold the dumbbells. I don’t know how I’m–
– Oh I mean, there’s probably a way to do it, I mean. (audience laughs) Uh, I mean. Yeah, yeah there you go, yeah. (grunts)
– Oh and this helps me with the squat, I get it. (laughing) – Yeah.
– And then I’m… (loud grunting)
(loud laughing) – This is it! – Alright now hold that while, hold that while I evaluate it! – Ohh!
(audience laughs loudly) Godda–
– Okay, so Link, um. It was, “Hold that steak
in your teeth zone.” (buzzer sounds)
– Oh. (audience laughs) – That’s your, your mouth. But, you know what? You probably moisturized your face.
– But, but then this. – Ah hold. It was actually cowbells
that you were supposed to be holding above your head.
(buzzer sounds) (laughing)
– What? – Not (laughs) dumbells. – I didn’t even know those were cowbells!
(audience laughs loudly) – I thought, I thought that
this was going to be easy, but I miscalculated.
(audience laughs) Uh, so, I’m gonna give you
no points for holding steak. (cowbells ring lightly) No points for holding cowbells. (cowbells ring loudly)
(audience laughs) (muffled inquiry)
– And, uh, your legs. (cowbells ringing)
(frantic muffled sounds) Your legs are spread wide, (high-pitched chime sounds)
check. And you are squatting with your butt sticking out.
(high-pitched chime) So Link, you get, you don’t have to keep doin’ it. (audience laughs loudly)
(cowbells ring) Now you’re just doin’ it for yourself. (laughing) You–
– I just wanted you to know that I could do it.
– Yeah, you can. You are capable of doing it, but you’ve got a 50
(high-pitched chimes) out of 100. Two out of four.
– T-Zone. (brass instruments sound)
(bell rings) – [Both] Round three! – Alright right now we’re ramping up to 2-1/2 speed for my second set of instructions.
– Supposedly, not physically possible to do? Is that the–
– Well, it’s above the threshold of, just
normal, understanding. – Okay, got it.
– Yes. Again, um, there’s some, there’s some things to misdirect you. Kinda like cowbell-dumbbell? – Yeah.
– I don’t know. Alright, you ready hit it! – [Sped-up Voice] Rhett, they
say that he who smelt it, dealt it, but sometimes,
even if he smelt it, it’s hard for him to
tell if he’s dealt it. So take a seat on the floor, to get a little closer to the stink. You’re one step closer to
sniffing out the stench. But you look a little
odd sitting on the floor, and we wouldn’t want
someone to get suspicious. So why not work in a workout? Put your hands where you put the past, behind you that is, and
lift your legs in the air like you just don’t care. Except you do care,
because you’re a decoder. And you’re gonna find that odor. It’s time to determine if
you did indeed seal the deal, so tilt your head down
toward your nether regions, they’re closer to you now
anyway, so it won’t look weird. You’re just beginning to stretch. Take one sniff and determine if you done did the deed, my friend. But hey, passing gas is just an air mass, so stop it’s journey up your nostrils by grabbing a clothespin
and putting it on your nose. Not the clown nose, that’s
not where your nose goes. – Oh gosh. (subdued laughing from audience) – Little faster that time.
– Okay, I think I’ve got the whole
pose. (inhales deeply) (audience laughs)
(Rhett claps) (exhales) I know there’s a clothespin involved.
– He thinks, he has, the whole pose. – I think I’m supposed to, sit on the ground. I think I’m supposed to, put my legs in the air.
(audience laughs) I think I’m supposed to, (audience laughs) – That clothespin is
doing nothing to impede you smelling anything, by the way.
– Put my hands behind my back. (audience laughs) And then I think I’m
supposed to put my head down (loud laughter)
towards my, my nether regions. And I’m supposed to smell, like I just farted.
(laughing) This is my pose. Score me, Link. – Sitting on the floor, check.
(high-pitched chime) Leg’s up in the air, check.
(high-pitched chime) Arms behind you on the floor, so I don’t give you that one.
(buzzing) – Aw, really?
– That one’s wrong. – Like this. Oh that would be a lot easier, huh. (audience laughs) – Face pointed towards the crotch, you’re all over that.
– Yeah! (high-pitched chime)
– I think that one’s instinctive for you. And, clothespin on your nose. Even though it wasn’t fully on your nose? – You know what I mean.
– I think that’s just a problem with your nose, so I give you a point.
(high-pitched chime) So Rhett, you did a great job. (high-pitched chimes)
That’s four out of five for the Rhett-ster.
– [Audience Member] Woo! – Yeah! Speed it up again!
(laughing) – Did you actually, toot?
(laughing) – I have since you’ve been talking. – I’ll give you an extra point for that.
– All right! (high-pitched chime sounds)
(loud laughter) (bass instruments sound)
(bell rings) – [Both] Round four! – Well I gotta say I’m feelin’ pretty good about myself. If you wanna start speaking to me at double time, just in our regular lives. – Sure I’ll be glad to do that. I’ll try to speak twice as fast. – Like the micro-machine’s man. – I remember that guy. – Okay Link, you are gonna have an equally complicated pose, with a number of steps at
2.5 times normal speed. Are you ready? – Not really. (laughing)
– Hit it! – [Sped-Up Voice] Link, these
tests have been stressful, so why don’t you take a moment to relax? Let’s drown out the outside world. We don’t have anything
for your ears or nose, but we can help with your eyes. Grab the spa mask and place
it firmly over your eyes. You also need to dress for success. Relaxation success. A sweater would make you sweatier, but you won’t need to
disrobe to wear this robe. So grab the robe and put
it on over your clothes. Not the sweater. What’s the most relaxing position? Standing is exhausting, and
laying down is relaxing. But you could fall asleep,
so sitting is probably better than standing or laying. You should sit, in a chair. Now for a special treat. Take your shoes and socks off, lift your feet up high, and call for the foot bath, so you can get your toesies all cozy. – Okay. (claps) I’m ready, for some relaxation. Now, I’m gonna, alright I’m at, so I got a spa mask, which is this. And, I’m supposed to bring in a chair. And then, Uh, okay so put on the spa mask. Uh, get in the chair. Here, hold my phone. (phone thuds)
– Okay. – Umm.
(light chuckling) – There it is. – I’m forgetting what hap, what you told me, after that. Oh yeah, a robe. Where’s the robe?
(cowbells ring lightly) – Well you don’t, you can–
– Okay I can take this off? – Yeah, you can use your eyes. – Alright. That wasn’t part of the instruction? Okay, put on the robe, don’t take my clothes off. – No.
Don’t take your clothes off. – But, I gotta take my Bo-No’s off. – Heh ha hah! Shout out to Bo!
(audience laughs) We know you know, Bo! – Bo-No’s speed-listening. Okay, put those over here. Product placement. And this here, and this here. And, give me that foot bath! – Hah hah.
– 100%! – Okay, I will let you
know when we are ready. – Bring it in! I’m nailin’ it! – Okay! – I’m feelin’ very proud of myself. I think you’re gonna
have to start speaking to me at 2.5 times speed. – Softly, insert your feet into the foot bath, Link. – Oooh!
(Audience member gasps) (squishing, crunching)
– What the heck? (shouts)
– Ahh! (Rhett laughs loudly)
– Ah hah! Ah hah! Ahahahah! (howling, screaming)
– Owww! What the crap?! (Rhett laughing loudly)
– Whoo! We got him again! – We got him again?! (Rhett laughing)
– Ohhh… – Man! – Ah hah, (laughing) you were so proud of yourself.
(audience laughing) – And what’s that on the sides? – It’s Vaseline.
– They Vas’ed it to keep ’em in there? – You gotta Vas’ the sides to
keep those roaches in there. I saw one of ’em crawlin’ on your foot, and that was what kinda gave it away, huh? – Well, no, it’s when I put my foot down on five of ’em, and they scatter. And then one went over the top. And then, I, I went like this. Did you see that?
– Hey, yeah, oh I saw that. – Uhhh! Man, I’m shaking.
– Well let me take a second to grade you there Link. Face mask, check.
(high-pitched chime) Robe, check.
(high-pitched chime) Sitting, check.
(high-pitched chime) Shoes off, check.
(high-pitched chime) Feet in foot bath, (high-pitched chime)
– Yes! – Check. Now, you gave me
(high-pitched chime) an extra point on the
last round for farting while you were talking. – I also farted!
(audience laughs) – I’m a little c–
– I did! – Really? – I was so scared I farted.
– I saw the roaches flinch. Um, I feel a little conflicted about that, to be honest with you. I’m not gonna give you an
extra point for farting, but I am gonna give you an extra point for putting your feet into (high-pitched chime)
a bath of roaches. – Yes.
– So, that means we tie, my friend.
– (claps) All right! Well I think we know
who the real winner is. These bugs. And you. Thank you for liking,
commenting, and subscribing. – You know what time it is! – Hi, I’m Sarah from Caryville, Tennessee. (slow jazz music) – And it’s time to spin
the Wheel of Mythicality! – Some studies may one day, possibly, show that great-looking
hair, beards, and lips makes you better at speed-listening. Well we’ve got you covered
when that day comes. Go to RhettandLink.com/store
for lip-balm, beard-oil, and, pomade. – Pomade! Click through Good-Mythical-More tomorrow, we’re gonna listen to
this speed karaoke track that we won, collectively. – Gifticality! That means we are going to give $1000 to the American Foundation
for Suicide Prevention to help them in their
mission to save lives and bring hope to those
affected by suicide. You can join us in
giving over at AFSP.org. – AFSP.org. (dance music) – [Link] Click on the
left to watch our show after the show, Good Mythical More. – [Rhett] Click on the right
to watch another episode of Good Mythical Morning. – [Link] And click the circular
channel icon to subscribe. – [Rhett] Thanks for
being your mythical best.