it's a beautiful 2006 Torino day you're watching ski jumping pairs it's the k120 finals you son of a bitch I hope you're ready for some intense skiing action weather conditions are optimal air temperature is negative 10 degrees Celsius snow temperature is negative 8 degrees Celsius humidity 85% wind well who the fuck cares about wind anyway I couldn't read it fast now here's our first contestant Aki current samake and me good of the same name I was a good start right here nice steady pace going around Mach 3 what is this on Orthodox move the battering ram you really you're going to win the competition with such a rookies move this isn't the Junior competition here this is the big league the assholes goodness gracious they're going for it Eman Nanji desu ka' fuck that is a tough pill to swallow they really wanted the gold they were that close let's go to our instant replay to see what went wrong oh well there you go there's your problem right there that poor man died in midair this is looking like it's going to be a spectacular move good heavens it's the droopy titty technique can they stick the landing they pulled it off they have just executed one of the most complicated moves in all of ski jumping pairs let's see that again take note of the skiers ability to simulate what a titty would look like if it was hanging from those skis if we put an elderly woman's titty on those skis and put it side by side with this footage right here you wouldn't be able to tell the difference you SAS had a rather lackluster performance up to this point but can they turn it around here he has released the cargo looks like impact is imminent oh shit the turtle rider that is a move you'll only read about I feel as though we're privileged to have seen it in action ladies and gentlemen they are holding hands I have seen this before I've just never seen it on skis this is a true display of friendship why the fuck is that an impressive trick now one on the rights rather bloated always fighting with his stomach this is a Total Recall shit I must have missed the hanging dwarf the first time around I'm glad the replays there to shed some light on what actually happened in case you missed it the ball is in USA's Court they're going for the mechanical bull they're losing control they're losing control yep that's gonna cost them some points if you're going to ride the bull you've got to be ready for its horns a lesson learned the hard way for USA now their families are going to have to be executed good sharp nipples do you know what you're seeing right now that right there is the lazy teenager that is a move you could only dream of seeing and you're witnessing it first hit it's the lazy teenager with a twist this is the firmest direction I've ever had my life ah no Toula de noir Bongo non this car look at this shit using their skis as noodles fucking innovative ladies and gentlemen watch out a helicopters just entered the battlefield keep your head tucked inside your ass cheeks if you want to avoid the cavitation false alarm they're out of here you know recently I've been trying to learn Japanese so I can understand some of these Japanese games I play a little bit better but I really don't think any amount of Japanese will help me understand why they just took golf like a fucking helicopter I guess what they say is true a bird in the hand is worth more than two in the bush you've got mr. Olympia holding up a contortionist like fucking atlas holding up the earth this is remarkable what in the crusty anus is going on here you giving him reverse CPR oh shit oh he's a fish out of water alright I understand Oh to fish out of well it's the fish out of water move how could I be so naive my sincerest of apologies gentlemen let's see this again though just look at that one man taking a face full of dick like a champ just getting pummeled by wiener and he just powers through it just look at this look at the slow-motion assault just a crotch destruction of that man's face and yet they still go on to execute the perfect fish-out-of-water technique this is the epitome of a Cinderella story nobody would have expected anyone to use such a high-risk high-reward move in this competition Nostradamus couldn't predicted this fucking Shin these two are taking the game of who's got your nose to a new level yeah the therapists seen it a million times at least they're kind of mixing it up he's using the ski is like a dildo massaging device so at least that's a little different but at its that its truest is still just the therapists technique oh wait a second what the fuck I've made a miscalculation I think this it is this isn't a therapist North the dildo massage you know a combination of the two this is the legendary ear cleaner just look he's using the other ski as a q-tip fuck the wax packs this is old-school ear cleaning the USA's up again let's see what they up two of them are hugging the skis there's a smurf this Smurf is trying to fly it's the pidgeotto up never mind this is a this is more like a bird with its wings clipped those two gentlemen are taking a walloping right now they are showing that snow who the boss is the expectations are high for these two competitors they came into the competition as the frontrunners the favorites to win the number ones to beat the shits to eat oh my fucking goodness they were hit by a predator missle well there's no point in crying over spilled milk oh he just bailed out oh I understand I understand they need it needed less wait so they could get more altitude out of their rocket boosters on the back of their skis it makes sense now especially considering the smaller gentleman is shitting out flames that's boosting them even higher yes this is pretty much how it works in real life too oh there goes this fuel tank so outlived its usefulness all these waving goodbye to it you know it's not like it's a human being so that's fine they're really high up here though you know it's pretty good altitude if this doesn't get first place I really don't know what will he's on his way to to Mars right now he will be our ambassador to the aliens and I couldn't think of a more qualified person for it I tell you these two really made a quick recovery after being shot by a cannon were they making here what is this field goal somebody kicked the field goal they've got it all set up for you oh it's a pair of glasses oh shit that's a statement right there that's telling the spectators hey if you don't think this is groovy then you need glasses you box of sperm look at the process of making the glasses it looks like Transformers going from a car to a transformer all the fuck's going on here on some football all right yeah go along good pass good pass the defense is asleep nice catch I think you got both feet in bounds that looks like a touchdown to me Ref that's six on the board all right looks like that extra point is good too that's seven on the board the kicker really didn't give a fuck about that poor gentleman playing the ball that poor guy can go squirt himself for all the kicker carriers here we go Matt Schaub is back in the pocket good protection it's a long bomb it's a bullet pass he's got a robotic arm Jerry Rice is going deep you know because Jerry Rice plays for the Texans these days our Jerry Rice is going for it it's a nice catch he gets both feet in bounds maintains possession the kicker is coming all the way from Uzbekistan for the extra point so that's up and it's good and that's pretty much how the Texans won the Super Bowl

Ski Jumping Pairs

26 thoughts on “Ski Jumping Pairs

  • June 20, 2019 at 3:23 pm
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    This is one of a million reasons why Japan rocks 🙂

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  • June 20, 2019 at 3:23 pm
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    "Taking a face full of dick like a champ" was the funniest thing I heard on April 2nd 2019.

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  • June 20, 2019 at 3:23 pm
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    Why does he sound like combat wombat

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  • June 20, 2019 at 3:23 pm
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    Found this video on Reddit years ago, it was my first penguinz0 vid so many memories✨

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  • June 20, 2019 at 3:23 pm
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    今、何時ですか?

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  • June 20, 2019 at 3:23 pm
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    Funny commentator

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  • June 20, 2019 at 3:23 pm
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    3:00 あなたの電話番号は何ですか?

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  • June 20, 2019 at 3:23 pm
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    The mechanical bull lmaooooooo

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  • June 20, 2019 at 3:23 pm
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    Still my favorite video on YouTube

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  • June 20, 2019 at 3:23 pm
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    anyone have the songs lmao

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  • June 20, 2019 at 3:23 pm
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    "what in the crusty anus is going on here? is he giving him reverse cpr?"

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  • June 20, 2019 at 3:23 pm
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    I peed a little at “turtle rider”

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  • June 20, 2019 at 3:23 pm
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    How does this guy not laugh while doing thing

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  • June 20, 2019 at 3:23 pm
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    nice narration. please make more !!!

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  • June 20, 2019 at 3:23 pm
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    T-pose to assert dominance

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  • June 20, 2019 at 3:23 pm
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    What is that crazy metal in the background that I never notice d

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  • June 20, 2019 at 3:23 pm
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    Why does he sound like synthcool 😂😭😭

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  • June 20, 2019 at 3:23 pm
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    I'm dying laughing

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  • June 20, 2019 at 3:23 pm
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    The Japanese team blasting off to space was hysterical

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  • June 20, 2019 at 3:23 pm
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    When i wake up tomorrow i will forget commenting this.

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  • June 20, 2019 at 3:23 pm
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    Your videos used to be so good

    Reply

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