Ah, that new Greek
tanning place? ‘Santorini tan’ is doing, uh, half-off
for law enforcement. You get half off
of any tanning or, uh… What they call
speed tanning. I have an announcement
to make! Suck my big black [bleep]! I won to [bleep] lotto! I won the [bleep] lotto! I am a [bleep]
millionaire! And I don’t have to
[bleep] sit here anymore and listen to your bull[bleep] you [bleep] crazy [bleep]! [bleep] you! [bleep] you! [bleep] you!
[bleep] you! Suck my [bleep] you mother[bleep]
[bleep]sucker! Argh! ‘Yes!’ [mouthing words] “03-06-14-18-46-51.” Okay, that was a misprint.
Okay. Everybody had that. Apparently they printed uh, thousands,
thousands of them. – ‘Everybody–‘
– Yeah, that ha… It happens. Put suck your [bleep]
on my to-do list for me. Uh, when I said that
out loud, it was, um– Oh, I’m so sorry
not everybody’s here. ‘Cause what I want to say
I wanted to say to all of you butt bloats
all at once… – ‘Alright?’
– ‘Um-hmm.’ You people have been
blisters on my taint and not just blisters,
but in-grown hairs. And yes, there’s cabernet
in this cup, alright? I won the lottery
last night. You know why?
‘Cause I willed it to happen. ‘Huh?’ I’m gonna go out
and snort coke off a black man’s behind. Uh, you didn’t hear
about this? “3-6-14-18-46-51”? – ‘Yes.’
– ‘Yeah.’ (Jim)
‘They printed 3000 of them.’ But, um, there is some
coke in evidence and Jones is
a pretty good sport. Nice coat.
Is it real? You don’t have to…
Don’t… Aw…yeah, baby! [laughs] Oh, suck it!
Suck it! ‘Guess who won
the lotto? Guess!’ [laughs]
[bleep] you, mother[bleep]. [bleep] you! For the record, you’re
the second person to come in and tell us to suck
your black [bleep]. (Jones)
‘Who else did?’ [clicks tongue]

RENO 911! – Lottery
Tagged on:                                                                                                                                                                 

100 thoughts on “RENO 911! – Lottery

  • July 27, 2019 at 3:04 am
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    Reno 911 needs to be on Netflix

    Reply
  • July 27, 2019 at 3:04 am
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    Or Prime

    Reply
  • July 28, 2019 at 3:43 am
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    I wanna watch this show so bad. I can't find it anywhere D:

    Reply
  • August 1, 2019 at 5:48 am
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    All of them came in to tell the others to fuck themselves lmao

    Reply
  • August 1, 2019 at 4:24 pm
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    Oh Clementine

    Reply
  • August 1, 2019 at 8:09 pm
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    It's funny to realize that everyone of them hates each other. XDDDDDDDD.

    Reply
  • August 2, 2019 at 3:02 am
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    First one best.

    Reply
  • August 4, 2019 at 7:17 pm
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    "For the record your the 2nd one to come in and say suck your black dick" o who was the first

    Trudy:πŸ™‹β€β™€οΈ…πŸ€¦β€β™‚οΈ

    Reply
  • August 5, 2019 at 3:04 pm
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    To me this is one of the funniest moments on television. Fucking hilarious. Gets me every time.

    Reply
  • August 5, 2019 at 11:23 pm
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    I’ve come back to this so many times

    Reply
  • August 7, 2019 at 6:37 pm
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    The next time the news media makes announcement on the biggest lottery jackpot I liked to remind myself by watching this video.

    Reply
  • August 7, 2019 at 9:47 pm
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    It's sad that Garcia was the only civilized & friendly one after he thought he won the lottery and his colleagues didn't care at all

    love Reno911!, best mockumentary show ever!!!!

    Reply
  • August 10, 2019 at 2:08 pm
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    LM F A OOOOOO

    Reply
  • August 11, 2019 at 6:01 am
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    There is a lot of offers of black sex. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€£

    Reply
  • August 11, 2019 at 4:42 pm
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    That’s hilarious

    Reply
  • August 13, 2019 at 12:11 am
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    Makes me laugh every time

    Reply
  • August 15, 2019 at 1:30 pm
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    I miss this show. πŸ™

    Reply
  • August 19, 2019 at 3:43 am
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    "Who else did?" Lmmfao

    Reply
  • August 21, 2019 at 12:28 pm
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    This was my shit as a kid

    Reply
  • August 22, 2019 at 1:01 am
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    Never brag about your money until you actually have it

    Reply
  • August 23, 2019 at 8:16 pm
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    Martin, The Office, K&Peele (some stuff) and this episode … classic genius hilarity πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ’€

    Reply
  • August 24, 2019 at 4:34 am
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    Is there any version of this that isn't bleeped out?

    Reply
  • August 28, 2019 at 4:13 am
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    Im going to go out and snort coke off a black mans behind

    Reply
  • August 28, 2019 at 10:22 pm
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    ΠœΠžΠ™ ΠΠ˜Π“Π“Π•Π Π‘ΠšΠ˜Π™ Π₯Π•Π 

    Reply
  • August 28, 2019 at 10:40 pm
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    One of their best skits ever!

    Reply
  • August 29, 2019 at 3:20 am
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    What the hell was inside Jones's mouth was that real is that a thing ?

    Reply
  • August 29, 2019 at 6:14 am
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    This is real genious. In action. In feeling

    Reply
  • August 29, 2019 at 9:20 am
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    For the record πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

    Reply
  • August 30, 2019 at 5:44 am
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    it happens….

    Reply
  • August 30, 2019 at 12:39 pm
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    "Butt bloats, blisters on my taint" I have to remember those.

    Reply
  • August 30, 2019 at 3:16 pm
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    Butt loads lol

    Reply
  • August 30, 2019 at 8:55 pm
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    My god. I miss this show.

    Reply
  • August 30, 2019 at 9:10 pm
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    this should be on Netflix

    Reply
  • August 30, 2019 at 9:41 pm
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    OMG, I was feeling a little down and now, well, I'm laughing until I'm crying. LOL!

    Reply
  • August 31, 2019 at 12:06 pm
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    lol no way

    Reply
  • August 31, 2019 at 12:14 pm
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    A misprint lol

    Reply
  • August 31, 2019 at 4:22 pm
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    THE funniest shit of today. RENO 911

    Reply
  • August 31, 2019 at 7:15 pm
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    I've watched this 4 times in one week

    Reply
  • August 31, 2019 at 9:17 pm
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    This will never get old

    Reply
  • September 1, 2019 at 4:06 am
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    "But… um there is some coke in evidence, and Jones is a pretty good sport" OMG so dead πŸ˜‚πŸ€£

    Reply
  • September 1, 2019 at 2:08 pm
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    THAT was funny!

    Reply
  • September 1, 2019 at 2:26 pm
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    What is the obsession with black men??

    Reply
  • September 1, 2019 at 7:02 pm
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    I have to tell everyone that I whacked off to the fur jacket

    Reply
  • September 1, 2019 at 9:41 pm
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    Show went so downhill, wow

    Reply
  • September 1, 2019 at 11:23 pm
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    πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­

    Reply
  • September 1, 2019 at 11:47 pm
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    Pc culture is for poor peopl.

    Reply
  • September 2, 2019 at 2:17 am
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    Casually presents newspaper

    Reply
  • September 2, 2019 at 5:51 am
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    Blisters on my taint is one of the best insults I've ever heard.

    Reply
  • September 2, 2019 at 12:08 pm
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    Genius

    Reply
  • September 2, 2019 at 7:41 pm
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    Freaking genius, hilarious

    Reply
  • September 2, 2019 at 11:07 pm
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    Nevada doesn't even have a lottery, they would have to go to CA to get the tickets.

    Reply
  • September 3, 2019 at 2:18 am
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    "You'll have been sores on my taint"
    Lmao! No one likes boils on their gerbil catwalk!!!

    Reply
  • September 3, 2019 at 4:09 am
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    The entire episode could have just been more of this and I would have enjoyed it.

    Reply
  • September 3, 2019 at 4:37 pm
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    Jones bruh. Lmaooo light up grills in his teeth

    Reply
  • September 3, 2019 at 6:58 pm
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    The blinking grill lmao

    Reply
  • September 3, 2019 at 8:36 pm
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    I once used Clemmy's monologue as the transcription for a letter of resignation.

    Reply
  • September 3, 2019 at 11:39 pm
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    Total classic

    Reply
  • September 4, 2019 at 1:02 am
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    Hahahahaha!

    Reply
  • September 4, 2019 at 3:27 am
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    i love this show i used to watch this all the time and laugh my ass off silly its so perfect cus its making fun of cops and everything about this show is and always will be perfect lmao

    Reply
  • September 4, 2019 at 7:02 am
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    3000 printed/3,333$ says suck it

    Reply
  • September 4, 2019 at 6:10 pm
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    James McAvoy Wanted moment for all these guys , only not πŸ™‚

    Reply
  • September 5, 2019 at 12:05 am
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    Grandma here, way back in the 70's, a musician named Johnny Paycheck wrote a song called: Take this job & shove it! Great song, I decided that when I retired I would drive to work & play this out loud in the parking lot next to where the bosses offices were., however my 2 bosses got fired, so I didn't have to do that, But dam I was looking forward to it.

    Reply
  • September 5, 2019 at 7:39 pm
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    Y'all left out Garcia who had the best entrance of them all.

    Reply
  • September 5, 2019 at 9:54 pm
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    So comedy central cancels the show, but continues to promote it almost a decade later? WTF?

    Reply
  • September 6, 2019 at 2:00 pm
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    lol…"who else did?"

    Reply
  • September 7, 2019 at 4:04 pm
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    I LOST IT when Jones came in. πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ˜‚

    Reply
  • September 8, 2019 at 3:07 am
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    Trudy is so funny, that scene is brilliant

    Reply
  • September 8, 2019 at 7:05 pm
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    So, everyone chose the same numbers? πŸ€”

    Reply
  • September 9, 2019 at 8:51 pm
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    Their tru colors came out

    Reply
  • September 11, 2019 at 10:52 am
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    One of the funniest lines I have ever heard "blisters on my taint "
    πŸ€­πŸ˜†πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ˜­

    Reply
  • September 12, 2019 at 11:26 pm
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    They don't even have the lotto in vegas

    Reply
  • September 14, 2019 at 6:05 am
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    НСту Π½Π° русском? 😞

    Reply
  • September 14, 2019 at 3:19 pm
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    cΓ³ ai người Việt Nam khΓ΄ng nhỉ :))

    Reply
  • September 14, 2019 at 4:35 pm
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    I just realized Wiegel looks like a young version of tub woman from The Shining.

    Reply
  • September 15, 2019 at 4:00 am
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    2:15 u r the second person to comein and say suck my big black dick
    And who is the first ::
    White bob

    Reply
  • September 16, 2019 at 2:33 am
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    πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

    Reply
  • September 16, 2019 at 4:56 pm
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    I am loughting all week … Damn It's best shit I every seen..

    Reply
  • September 16, 2019 at 5:25 pm
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    This is my favorite episode. I am literally in tears right now lol πŸ˜‚.. Man Reno 911 was too far ahead of its time man.

    Reply
  • September 16, 2019 at 6:19 pm
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    I Willed this to Happen!!! πŸ™‚

    Reply
  • September 21, 2019 at 10:37 pm
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    You know this show is comedy gold if the joke still holds up years after it's demise.

    Reply
  • September 23, 2019 at 3:53 am
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    One of the most hilarious skits i've ever seen

    Reply
  • September 23, 2019 at 7:13 pm
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    I remember seeing this back on Netflix a long time ago good times

    Reply
  • September 25, 2019 at 3:57 pm
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    I have an announcement to make .. SUCK MY BLACK D*CK!! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

    Reply
  • September 26, 2019 at 5:50 am
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    Bruhh imagine if 1 more cop came in holding those 'cop microphones' …
    & before they could even say anything everyone showed them the misprint,
    then they just drop the mic & walk out! LMAO! 🏁

    Reply
  • September 26, 2019 at 5:04 pm
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    thats why youll never have an ass as nice as his

    Reply
  • September 28, 2019 at 12:50 am
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    I knew that Lottery bulshit was fake set up by a kangaroo court before it even started think about that.
    .
    Barney is a liar Thief

    Reply
  • September 29, 2019 at 8:04 pm
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    suck. my. byg, buh -luck dyck

    Reply
  • September 30, 2019 at 1:03 am
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    Lol they would all be broke in a year asking to stay at their friends place.like I didnt mean all that shit.

    Reply
  • September 30, 2019 at 10:09 am
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    Π§Ρ‚ΠΎ Π·Π° Ρ„ΠΈΠ»ΡŒΠΌ ?

    Reply
  • September 30, 2019 at 8:23 pm
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    Who else did

    Reply
  • October 1, 2019 at 2:42 pm
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    How the fuck do you keep a straight face through this how.

    Reply
  • October 1, 2019 at 3:51 pm
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    🀣🀣

    Reply
  • October 2, 2019 at 5:37 am
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    did trudy say suck my big blk dick tho?πŸ˜‚

    Reply
  • October 2, 2019 at 1:00 pm
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    If they had 3000 miss prints, and they all won, they now have 3000 winners
    The prize might not be as big anymore, but they all get something

    Reply
  • October 5, 2019 at 3:01 am
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    They let them say all that n then calm them the fuck down πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

    Reply
  • October 5, 2019 at 5:42 am
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    This is by far my best skit of this show

    Reply
  • October 5, 2019 at 4:41 pm
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    Why are they dressed like hookers? Do American police women! act in a way that they portray them like hookers?

    Reply
  • October 5, 2019 at 11:43 pm
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    BRING IT BACK PLEASE!!!!😫😫😫😫

    Reply
  • October 8, 2019 at 2:47 am
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    Lord knows, that's how we'd all act

    Reply

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