I hate this part. Thank you for
sitting with me. You know, again. Happy to, hon. We have TiVo. I don’t want to get too excited.
Let’s, um, talk about some of the unpleasant stuff, stuff that we’re not looking forward
to. Green poop. Ew. You asked. Okay, um, what else? Um, a lot of yelling. And then a
short temper. I can handle your temper. I was talking about you. [ding] Oh, gosh, okay, you know what,
I want you to do it. No, I’m gonna do it, um…No, you do it. I’ve done it a hundred
times, I’m gonna do it. No, you do it, you do it, definitely you. Kristen? Kristen. I got it. I got it. I’m fine. I’m really fine, I am. Green poop. Green poop. Green poop… [Title music] [baby giggles] So, uh, something really amazing
happens when you start trying to have a baby: every conversation turns into one like you’d
have with your gyno. I know, I mean, who am I supposed
to believe? One doctor says that Clay should save up his juice for a while, and the next
says to sex it up like nymphos every night. Right, who wants to do that? You know what,
he just walked in, so I should probably get going. Okay. All right, I love you, too. Bye,
Mom. Hey! Hi. Um, is there any way you could
not talk to your mom about our sex life? I tell my mom everything. Yeah… Oh, okay, you know what, I’m sorry.
I should have known that it would make you uncomfortable. Will not happen again. Nope. If he thinks the conversations
with my mom are weird, uh, he probably wouldn’t be too happy with the conversations I’ve had
with my dad. You sure he’s doing it right? Trust me, Dad, Clay is doing everything
right. I’ve been accused of exaggerating
when I say that everybody has an opinion. I wish that I were. Just go on vacation. My sister
struggled for a good four months and then she went on a cruise and then boom! Girl,
that’s all you need. You know, there’s a very short
window of time for ovulation. Have you tried tracking your temps? I got the answer, dude: You
gotta keep the laptop away from the balls. [baby cooing] Jaqueline is adorable. She has such a cute personality,
I love it. She is my little chick, yes
you are! My little baby girl. Isn’t it about time you two
have some kids? Actually, we’ve been trying for a
while. Yeah. Yeah, but we’re excited about the
idea of having kids. I’m sure it’ll happen soon. It will. It’s tough, you know, it doesn’t
happen on the first try. We– I know, it took us like two
months. Two months. But it wasn’t
all bad. You know what finally worked for us is you gotta stop being, like,
tender, you know? You really gotta like—- hold this for me, babe—-you really gotta like,
just, really pin her arms, pin her feet up. Like, and lead with your hips, like really,
like pow! Really surprise the uterus, you know. And, you know, it works. It hurts in a good way. Yeah, yeah. Oh, you know, and
if she can’t get her legs up there like that, you can get the same kind of angle if you
go around behind. From behind. And just make sure she, you
know, because you really want to get deep in. MOM AT BBQ: You want to hit the cervix
hard. We did that, and boom, she
was pregnant in like, a day. Probably. I mean, I don’t know the science behind it, but she
was totally pregnant. Totally worked. [baby cooing] MOM AT BBQ: Mommy likes it rough. DAD AT BBQ: Oh, yes she does! MOM AT BBQ: Yes, she does!

None In The Oven – Episode 1 “ADVICE”
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7 thoughts on “None In The Oven – Episode 1 “ADVICE”

  • October 12, 2011 at 1:52 am
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    I look forward to more episodes!

    Reply
  • October 17, 2011 at 12:45 am
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    This is so sad because it's all true.

    Reply
  • October 18, 2011 at 9:14 pm
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    So true! I love these videos, they help me laugh when I want to cry. It also helps to see I'm not the only one going through this mess. Thank you for making these!

    Reply
  • June 13, 2012 at 3:01 pm
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    @jcmytxu
    Just got back from the doctors… AND I'M PREGNANT! Using some advice on fertility made the difference. I'd watch this video before its too late >>> bit.ly/KRgbuV?=azjvdm

    Reply
  • November 21, 2012 at 11:29 pm
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    This is exactly my life. Oh, infertility! Thank you for doing this, it is definitely bringing me some laughs.

    Reply
  • August 21, 2013 at 12:34 pm
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    yep… heard it all. "you just need to get drunk", "are you using ovulation predictors?", "just stop trying", "i heard if you adopt, you get pregnant easier." wtf… it's an actual medical condition, i have the medical bills to prove it.

    Reply
  • May 15, 2015 at 9:31 am
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    Thank you so much for making these videos. I was just at home feeling completely sad, surfing the web for the millionth time looking for something to give us hope. Then I found these and I have to say that I have not laughed this hard in a long time. Thank you and please make more.

    Reply

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