Nerd³’s Hell… Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 5 UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Uh, you bastards want more. Fine! Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 5 is a shitshow. It is without a doubt the worst skateboarding game ever made, and I’m largely gonna talk about it from a position of someone who’s played a lot of skateboarding games. I’m not gonna go “Look, it’s Goat Simulator, silly physics, wah!” The physics and glitches and bugs and crashes are numerous, yes, but, I’m gonna talk about it from the position of a skateboarding game, and from a skateboarding game position, It’s worse than that little minigame in Spyro 3. It’s atrocious, it’s horrible, it is — It feels like an unfinished prototype for Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 1 – it — but it’s seriously does. If you take away the slightly shiny graphics, that are com — pretty much look flat and textureless, you take those away and it just feels like it’s a shitty prototype. If this was a pound on Steam and made in Unity, I would be laughing at it and going, “What a crock of shit,” but no, this is a full game. A full game with a SEVEN GIGABYTE PATCH. Before the patch, apparently, the only thing that works is the Create-A-Park and the Tutorial. Which gets me thinking, and this is purely me speculating, maybe because the patch adds most of the game, maybe because the game is so buggy and clearly unfinished, the reason the patch is so large is they took all that content out so it would pass certification. You need to pass certification to have disks printed and be able to be put on the consoles, that’s a — a thing that happens. Maybe, just maybe, just maybe the patch is so large because they took out as much that was broken as possible, gave the bare essentials, er, and then they’d get through the certification process. Who the fuck knows? This game is apparently also a desperate cash-in, with apparently Activision’s licence, er, for Tony Hawk’s running out this year — it — All these things explain why this game is a shitshow, but still, but STILL, people put their fucking name on this. Let’s look at the options. Right, the only redeeming thing about this game is half of the soundtrack. Half of this soundtrack is a very Tony Hawk’s thing. It’s pretty much unknowns, it’s pop-thing, and it’s — no, it’s — it’s not pop, it’s pop-punk and it’s that sort of shit and there’s no ska or the fun stuff that made the, er, the original Tony Hawk’s’ worthwhile, but it’s — it’s — half of it’s good. The other half is dubstep, and dubstep – I’m just an old man now – is just noise that I have to turn off. Which you can’t do. There’s no way of customising the soundtrack, as far as I can tell, But I can turn the music off. This is the entire options menu. This is all you got. That’s the options. Right. Let’s hit play, shall we? Yes. Tony Hawk’s PS5 Levels. T’pus. Heh, they’re taking t’pus. Uh, My Levels, Player Created Levels, and that’s it. I don’t know why they have the arrows up and down there, that’s kind of not necessary. We’re gonna play the Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 5 levels. I’ve unlocked two, because having to earn fifteen mission stars to unlock that one: Just too much for me. Just. Too. Much for me. Uh, let’s go to the first o — uh, the first one’s awful — oh, let’s go the first one anyway. Right, so we can start the game, which will boot us into a server with random people, or start a private game, which takes much longer to boot us into a server where we’ll be eventually be put in with random people anyway, so, you may as well not fucking bother. Don’t know if you can play online, there’s no option for it, I’d have to actually physically unplug my PS2, and look! We’re in! Now we’re just gonna wait for the level to load in the distance. Still gonna be loading some bits up? Ahhh, oh, there, there’s some textures popping in on the right there. Great! This is Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 5. Apparently I hit someone. Oh, he was down there, but I still apparently hit him. Yeah, so this is, like, the first level. All the levels are flat and banned and I — Banned. Bland. God, I wish they were banned. That box says ‘SWAG’. Jesus. Um, yeah, it’s got this cel-shaded look: they just draw a line around everything to make it look interesting. I don’t know what the point of having these people in — there’s no real way to interact with them. Apart from ‘hit’, when neither of you sort of fall over anything, and they just glitch out and look awful, so it’s pretty much useless. I’d say it’s entirely useless. Whats even more useless are these FUCKING USELESS mission markers. Hang on, that’s X. See, the — the problem I have with these is half the time they don’t work. Like, they just flat out don’t work. And I’ve found if you push the middle button, you can go down to Missions and select them from there. Just do that. Don’t even try to deal with those. Right, let’s talk about some changes. So you hold down X to push off and go, like you do in any Tony Hawk’s game, and then you’re gone. You may have noticed that I’m not getting all the speed up that I used to. That’s because you now have to hold down R2 to go. Which was never a thing. Which is apparently now a thing. And L2 to brake. Again. Never a thing. Not adding anything. Holding down X worked and then letting go to ollie worked fine. I mean, holding down X does get your fucking speed up anyway. So why have you given two buttons for this, which is completely useless. And if you’re wasting buttons, why the fuck did you swap Triangle from being grind to being this FUCKING! USELESS! FUCKING! SLAM! BULLSHIT! It is awful. As — just — someone who’s played also many of these games, taking — ‘Cos you hold down Triangle before you get to the grind. You air and then you push the button But as soon as you — talk about wallrides later. As soon as you tap the button to grind, you just plummet into the ground. Christ, I hope there’s something you want to grind right underneath you. It just — it doesn’t work. And they do the same thing – See — Don’t know why I fell over there. That happens a lot. Don’t ever try and think you’re gonna get a combo in this game. It won’t happen. I remember calling, er, Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater HD – it was made by the same people – er, an absolute buggy pile of shit that was only made for me and I could barely stand it, but it was – I got some enjoyment out of it. It’s — Now — This is just awful, because I expected the remake of Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 1 to only have the shit that Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 1 had in it. I expect one called 5, that’s the most recent one, to actually have some, you know, of the old shit in it. So much stuff is just GONE. Just completely GONE. So one of the big ones is, as you can see the level loading in the distance there, is when you’re grinding, you can’t switch your tricks up. When you’re grinding, or manualing, or doing a lip trick, you can’t sw — flip your tricks, which was a huge way of getting combos back in the day. Completely gone. Absolutely gone. Fucking Wallriding is AUTOMATIC. SO FUCKING ANNOYING! Christ on a bike! So yeah, wallriding you now have absolutely no control over. You used to have to hit Triangle and then if you were next to a wall you would do a wallride. Now, just jump at a wall and maybe you’ll do a wallride. Sometimes you don’t. That time I did. THAT time I did. That time I didn’t. Literally no idea what caused that. I think you’ve gotta be at more of an angle, but sometimes you can just be riding against it flat and everything will be fine. So yeah, they’ve, for some reason decided that — Oh, I realise why that’s not a thing. Because every time I go for a wallride, I push Triangle and do that. And slam. ‘COS THE FUCKING DUMBSHIT SLAM BUTTON FUCKING BULLSHIT! Slam would be really useful on R2. A button that really isn’t used for anything, just, “Oh, I’ve aired over that. Slam,” would be really useful. Taking away a button that I’ve built into my head for the last fucking, however long Tony Hawk’s has been out, since the PS1, it’s just taking that away is just shit. it’s dumb, stupid bullshit. Look, I’m doing moves. I — I — seem to realise that — you know you used the mash the Kickflip three times and it would do a Triple Kickflip? Now it just does there Kickflips. That’s just dumb. Hey, Let’s go into this thing! Wow! 180 Indie Backflip! I don’t know how I did that because they’ve changed the fucking Specials and you have no control over how you’re Specials work anymore. It used to be Left, Right, Circle; Up, Down, Circle; Up, Left, Circle. You could customise and change them. Not anymore. Once you push L1 to activate the incredibly short Special Mode, it just does it fucking randomly for you! Well, that time I did a Sack Tap. If I push the exact same combination, I crash into a wall because the collision detection is shit. If you jump in a quarter pipe in pretty much any other Tony Hawk’s game, you’re likely to do just that. If you jump on a quarter pipe in this one, yeah, every now and then you’ll just air out and then get stuck in some pipes like I just did there. I think I need to take five second to remind myself why I love this series… and it’s all the other games. Um, grinding. I hated the grinding in Tony hawk’s Pro Skater HD, I hate it in this. It’s just so soft. It’s like you grind — You just — There’s that little section where you sort of lower yourself — It’s kind of — It’s quite hard to see, but you can feel it. There’s no immediate snap to the rail, like there is in the old Tony Hawk’s’ games. Remember, this is something they mastered on the PS-fucking-1! It’s three console generations later! And they just — it just feels light and shit — Even the Slam. Like, ‘cos, like, you see, like, if you Slam on the ground, it’s like — SLAM, and I’ve mushed into the ground. If I Slam onto a rail you can definitely see it. No. There, you see? It’s sort of like it’s, like, soft descent. I’m not, like, crashing into it. People who have been playing the shit out of Tony Hawk’s will be like yes, fucking yes. Didn’t want to wallride there, but thank you. Was gonna go for a trick but the wallride kicked me off. HA! HA! Gonna look at my list. I actually had to make a list ‘cos there’s so much shit about this game that I hate, I actually couldn’t remember it all. Actually, let’s talk about the mission structure. You may be going “Ooh, look, there’s COMBO and there’s things. “It’s been two minutes. Why haven’t you timed out?” ‘Cos they decided that was a dumb idea. “Two minutes? Nah, we don’t want the two minutes thing anymore. “Instead we’ll put it around with absolutely no time limit meaning it has no skill involved, and you’ll have to go to these mission markers to start the missions.” Hey, let’s do a mission. Right. This button, ‘cos fuck trying to make those things work. Let’s go for… which one shall we go for? “How High?” You can play it in co-op, which seems to be greyed out, or you can play it in single player. Let’s play it in single player. Remember how you — two minutes was just ticking along and you had everything there? This is how long it takes just to boot into this. Still not there. Now it looks like I’m in there, but I’m not in there yet. There we go! Now we’re in there. Now I have to wait, and I have to push Accept. Right, I have to go really high or something. Okie-dokie. There’s a No Comply off there. Ooh, we just have to stay really high Probably a good idea just to get into the thing. I really hope that board hit you in the face hurt, like really badly. Like, absolutely, like, horrifically. Hey, let’s drop into this! Oh, yeah, they got rid of that feature. There’s now once you jump over something there’s no drop-in feature anymore. And you may have noticed that everyone else seems to have fucked off. You’re now on your own. There’s no people in these missions; there’s just you, so that’s nice. This mission’s literally just doing this. It’s just Boneless, Boneless. Boneless gets me the air. More Bonelessing. I like Bonelessing. Bonelessing is good. You may have noticed out there that there’s a lot of terrain. Can’t touch any of it. No fucking point to any of it. Messed that one up. Game didn’t shit itself. Oh, did I just, like, completely stop there? Yes I did. Glorious. Reverts don’t slow you down anymore. I can’t — Reverts just don’t seem to slow you down, they just keep you going, so if you were doing a combo and you revert, you really seem to keep a lot more of your speed. It’s kind of shitty. They used to, like, really say “No, you can only do, like, two or three,” now even when I’m, like, not even — I haven’t even levelled up once in this fucking game. Christ knows how you even do it. Yeah, that’s just… There’s literally a mission in this game I am currently achieving. I’m nearly at the Sick score, ooh. Let’s go over here. Woooh. Woooooh. Wooooh. Ooh, I did a manual there, even though I didn’t actually tap the, uh, down button. That’s fine. Hooray! Available Stat Points are nine. Right, I can retry the mission – why would I want to – or I can return to Freeskate. So now I return to Freeskate. So now I have to wait fo — to return to the Freeskate. Bohm, bohm, bohm, bohm, bohm, bohm, bohm, bohm, bohm, bohm, bohm, bohm, bohm. Don’t know why they took out the Acid-y Drops. Acid Drops were great. Pushed the button and you dropped in. Remember that? Just push the button and you would just drop in. It was a great feature. Not any more. They’ve got the Wallplant, still, which was quite a late feature, so it’s not like they’ve gone, “Oh, we’re doing Pro Skater stuff.” It’s kind of dumb. Why doesn’t — I don’t know why it’s not returning me to the Freeskate. Oh, it HAS returned me to the Freeskate, it’s just saying that I — that it hasn’t, ‘cos there’s no people around. It’s added back the SKATE and stuff. Well, great. I swear I’ve collected the SKATE already but, alright. Let’s just say I haven’t, game, it’ll make you feel better. SPECIALS! Well, that was my Special that time. Yeah, that was the Special that time. That was the Special — Yeah. Okay. The anger’s blown away, now there is just sadness. Do you — you didn’t actually even bother to return me to the thing. It was like, Returning, and then it just went here. I’ve loads of questions about the font used. Like, why are there, like, fifty or sixty kinds of fonts in this game? There’s like — I can see on my screen now, like, eight fonts. Like, now I can s — look, ‘cos there’s the really thin font there, there’s two in the corner, if there’s anything appears on the right, there’s just shitty fonts there. These are all different fonts, there’s no — it feels like all — that this game was cobbled together by five different people, in about a fortnight, and they glued it together in five minutes. One of my notes is: “Levels of Wank”. Oh, look at this! I’m not actually back, I can’t start the next mission yet, just gotta wait for it to kick me back in. Man, I’m so glad they have this online hub (!) I could go into a private match, but as soon as I come out of a mission it just puts me into a non-private match. Every fucking time. Alright, let’s quit and go back in. “Accessing leaderboard.” Oh, good, I really give a shit about the dumbfucks who are top of this leaderboard. Thanks for not even bothering to show it. “Failed to join online session. Game lobby is full or no longer available.” Yeah, I guessed that. Right, let’s play … let’s play Bonfire Beach. Let’s do a private game. Screw it — you may notice that there’s no AI walking around or anything, they, couldn’t be bothered to make any cars drive around or AI like that Hey, the private game loaded up really fast this time! Great! Didn’t do that fucking this morning. Oops. “Sand in your Shorts.” Yeah, so because there’s no AI or anything, the levels are just dead. They’re just — that, that’s the whole level, by the way. From that sign — you can see the sign in the distance. Like, that sign in front of me, the Vans sign, that’s a big deadline there. Can’t go past that. Can’t go over this wall. Can’t go behind me there. Go over here again. Oh, I’ve done that again. Well, now I’m standing here and apparently balancing. I’m not actually in a manual, I’m just now balancing. Great. Okay. What a terrifically well-made game this is. Yeah. Levels are wank. We’ve still not got to the worst part about this game yet. Uh, what else haven’t I said? Yeah. Oh, yeah, that’s a — fucking weird one. Why are there no animations to get me back up? I can’t actually think of another Tony Hawk’s that doesn’t have a … Oh, you –, then you stand up, the skateboard slides from behind you. Like, it just feels so lazy. Must’ve fallen down now. Uh-huh. Well, that was sloppy. You know what else is sloppy? FUCKING. STAMP. BUTTON. It just looks — look at those lines at the top! It looks so shit. It’s just endlessly shit and shit and shit. I’ll just mask some fucking score up. Do a lip trick. Oh, no. Fuck it. Fuck you! FUCK YOU, YOU DUMB FUCK! I’m genuinely pissed off. Do you know why I’m really pissed off? Do you know why I’m really pissed off? ‘Cos this game’s sixty fucking pou — dollars, that’s the o — it’s fucking a full price game, apparently! Eight levels, it’s got. Eight levels. That’s — this is a full-priced game. Activision can go fuck themselves. That’s, that’s, that’s the — that’s my take away from this. They just — they can go fuck themselves. They saw this game and thought, “Oh, well, we better hit that deadline.” Doing some tricks. Right, what else do we have to talk about? Yeah. Let’s talk about the big one. This is a — my ‘fan of Tony Hawk’s-ness’. Oh, I couldn’t go on that little bit there, for some reason. Oh, is — this is just a pier, is it? You see all those things in — that thing over there, that looks grindable? No, you — I lied! Sorry! That sign there? No. That’s actually out of the gameplay. You’ll also notice here that the framerate lags to shit if there’s any particle effects, like if you got your board on fire, uh, game just starts lagging. Just drops — I think it’s running at sixty, and I’m not surprised, considering that there is FUCK ALL BEING RENDERED! But yeah, it just … lags to death. If we go up to these tikis, that used to make sounds but now don’t. Oh, wait, they’re not making sounds today. Yeah. Just lag. I’ve just got — Now look, it’s just — I hope that’s getting picked up by how shitty that looks. Let’s do that again. Whoom. No. Triangle… It’s all wrong. Everything’s wrong. WHY — [RADIO SILENCE] The worst part about this game is that you can’t fuck up, and it makes when the game fucks up look even worse. Are there any pools in the beach area? Let’s find out. Well, we have this, I suppose. Uh, it’s not great. Maybe we should go back to the other one. Let’s go back to the other one. Wait fuck. How do you level up?That’s resume. Map — map view. Thanks. Super useful. Uhh, options. It’s the same options. View controller mapping. Can’t fucking change it. Yes. Uh, exit game. No, I want these ones then. Player lists. Well, there’s clearly no players. Modes. These are modes you can play with people, I suppose. Never had anyone start one of those on me. Party and Invites. Yeah. There’s the missions. I literally have no idea how to level my fucking character up. ‘Cos it says I’ve got Stat Points. Wonder if we go back to the main menu, is it on the main menu? I don’t know anymore. Won’t be options, is it? Oh is it in — it’s Customise Skater. Oh, can you not make your own skaters? I assumed this was just the Create-a-Skater. That’s a … him. Alright. Can I — I don’t know who any of these people are. So you can’t even make your own skater. Customise. Oh, there we go. This is where we do it. Okay. So thats — Oh, I can change his costume to one of — One, two, three, four. No, three, ‘cos we had that one again. Three. Nice. Choose his emblem. There’s his bests. Great. So apparently we were actually at zero stats. Did you see how fucking high I was getting for zero stats? Fuck it. Where’s Air? Hang on, we don’t have Air. Speed, Ollie. What if I just put it into Ollie? Let’s do it in Ollie and Speed. Grind. Eh, that’s useless. Vert. Boost you get off a quarter pipe. Alright, that’ll be Air then. Spin, Special, whatever. Oh yeah, look, there’s the Special tricks, just listed there. Grab. Fingerflip Airwalk. Wait, what? I was just — I’m very confused about these automatic Specials now. I’m absolutely beyond confused as to how they work. Just no idea. I genuinely have no idea. Right, let’s go to T’pus levels. Let’s get back to this one. I would show everyone — God, these missions. I’ll do a few missions and then I’ll do the other one in a second. I’ve just got to show you the worst thing, ‘cos it’s so bad. It’s just so bad. Oh, hello, this one’s full! We can watch all the happy people. I didn’t want to fucking wallride there, I didn’t want to be up there. You can watch all these people going up, going down, and, er, glitching wildly in the air. That’s, er. yeah. This is — there’s not very many — Oh, that guy’s shot off into space, that guy’s shot off into space. There’s not many much in the way of, um, reason to do this. I don’t get it. There’s loads of skaters. The big names above them just sort of ruin it. If these weren’t just big names above it. Things would have been okay. Anyway, let’s show you the worst thing. This is me grinding. I’m gonna mash this right the way to the left. Didn’t bail. Gonna mash this right the way to the right. Didn’t bail. Gonna do a manual now. Gonna mash this all the way up. Didn’t bail. Gonna do it all the way down. Didn’t bail. You can’t fuck up your grinds. So there’s no, “Ooh, I’ll just go for a quick manual, I hope I don’t fuck up” anymore. Which is like — which is the series’s everything. It was that tension of, “Do I fit another trick in?” And they took it away. They took it away oh so good. They just — I honestly don’t think they played Tony Hawk’s before. Why can’t I Ollie after a revert? How hard would that been to implement and keep the combo going like you used to be able to? Let’s do a mission. The depression is setting in. Yeah, yeah. There’s some tosspots who think they’ve got a high score. Play. Player Created Levels.Maybe there’ll be an interesting player one. Most liked. Pro Parking. Pro Paking. Okay. Whatever. Let’s join in with these ones. [LARGE SIGH] Im in a box. Oh, no, I’m not in a box. I’m out here. Oh, it’s the exact — It’s the exact same fucking level. They’ve just — Don’t know what’s happening now. What’s over there? Is this like this — Has this guy just, like, copied the level’s height map or something? Can I view the Map view? It’s really — that’s, that’s, nothing like it Apparently I’m on grass right now? Jesus. God, I found a thing and I was like, “that’s kind of useless”, and it was even more useless than I thought. I’ve got a horrible feeling, yeah, that you’ll be stuck to the levels that already exist. Ah, well, that’s fun. God, I hope you’re not stuck to those height maps or anything, ‘cos this level didn’t scale up like that. Whoosh. Oh, now I’m big. Now there’s a thing going on and I’m big. Don’t know what it was, I don’t think it told me what it was, but now I’m big. Wheeeeeeee. Yeah, I’m just gonna keep grinding. What you gonna do? What you gonna do, game? What you gonna do? Oh, you’re just gonna randomly kick me off. Thaaaaanks. [MORE SIGHING] Wheeeeeee. Wheeeee. I like how he didn’t kick on the way up but did on the way down. Quality. Are you actually like — Ah fuck, you know what? Now I have to boot the fucking thing up. Oh, I don’t care. I don’t like or dislike your bollocks. Right. Create-a-Park. yeah. Beach. Small — like — Oh my God. Like, when you create, you’re actually set to just the maps that exist, and you just put shit on them. [STUNNED SILENCE] This is a stunned silence, not the game crashing. It may have been the game crashing. It’s gone black now. [MORE STNNED SILENCE] Ooh. There we go! (Fucking hell.) Yes. Accept. Brilliant, look at all this shit. Oh yeah, I’ll work this all out. So yeah. All this shit’s already here. Oh, how fucking marvellous. So even the creator mode is just “Recreate our levels”. You’re just stuck with what you’re given. Fuck this game! No, ye — just fuck it! Just fuck it! [END CARD]

Nerd³’s Hell… Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 5
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100 thoughts on “Nerd³’s Hell… Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 5

  • February 11, 2017 at 3:57 pm
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    Hey I loved that minigame in Spyro 3!

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  • February 26, 2017 at 6:07 am
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    why hasn't he never done tony hawk pro skater 4? I played that on gamecube

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  • February 27, 2017 at 8:28 pm
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    Such a shame if this game becomes the series' kiss of death. The competitive skating games are such a popular genre a gen or two ago that an extremely well designed one would be a breath of fresh air. Sadly, EA seems to have no interest in a new Skate game and Tony Hawk wants the next one to be a dodgy VR experience.

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  • March 25, 2017 at 12:02 am
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    Can someone please remake one of the old Tony Hawk games using the PS5 engine, but actually make it RIGHT?

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  • March 29, 2017 at 5:27 pm
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    This game isn't that bad I think people misunderstood the title to be Skate 5 instead ! Only needs better graphics and better maps

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  • April 3, 2017 at 8:52 pm
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    this game looks good

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  • April 6, 2017 at 5:33 pm
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    if you think that update is big call of duty modern warfare remastered needs 63GB updateFOR A 100 MB game

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  • April 18, 2017 at 11:34 pm
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    No joke, American Wasteland for the DS was better than this (It was actually really good literally just the ps2 version with bad graphics and no bikes or parkour)

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  • April 21, 2017 at 2:01 am
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    this game looks like a minecraft pocket edition mod

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  • April 25, 2017 at 1:34 am
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    Hey dan do more

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  • April 27, 2017 at 12:56 pm
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    Skate licence is better

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  • April 28, 2017 at 9:36 pm
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    The reason this game has a 7 gigabyte patch is because literally the only thing on the disc is the demo. I'm not joking.

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  • April 30, 2017 at 1:18 pm
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    Hey! Spyro 3 skate minigame was good!!! 🙂

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  • May 1, 2017 at 10:58 am
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    Roses are red,
    Jesus is alive…

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  • May 3, 2017 at 11:32 pm
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    I am a Newbie to THP and this is shockingly terrible.
    Just so you know (for context of how new i am) my highest combos would be around 70 – 120 thousand points and average would be 20 thousand and i don't even know how to change tricks while grinding.

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  • May 9, 2017 at 8:38 pm
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    They're taking t'ps.

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  • May 11, 2017 at 5:33 pm
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    this looks like a crappy mobile game

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  • May 11, 2017 at 7:46 pm
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    Looks Absolutely Awful!!!! Been playing Pro HD but as New!!! No Thank-you!

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  • May 16, 2017 at 5:00 pm
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    play thugpro

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  • May 20, 2017 at 5:09 pm
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    Phony Cocks Low Faker Lies.

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  • May 21, 2017 at 6:51 pm
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    Omg how was this 2 years ago?

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  • June 5, 2017 at 9:45 pm
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    Pro Skater 5 but no Underground 3? Pshhh.

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  • June 9, 2017 at 9:02 am
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    this is objectively worse than skate 3 from both a skate game perspective and a "shitty physics are funny" perspective

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  • June 28, 2017 at 8:38 pm
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    Remember when Activision released good games?

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  • July 3, 2017 at 4:20 am
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    TH2 on N64 was my favorite. This is actually sad…

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  • July 10, 2017 at 4:55 pm
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    the only good skateboarding game is skate3,skate2,and 3

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  • July 14, 2017 at 7:37 pm
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    The UI design looks like its just placeholder.

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  • July 23, 2017 at 4:50 am
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    This is pretty shit… even Pro Skater HD is better than this.

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  • July 24, 2017 at 8:00 am
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    Are you stampede the cat that plays roblox in Minecraft and scrap mechanic

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  • August 3, 2017 at 6:22 pm
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    SHUT the hell UP.

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  • August 8, 2017 at 7:26 am
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    So it begins with earrape…

    Reply
  • August 11, 2017 at 10:10 pm
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    Didn't bail.

    Reply
  • August 18, 2017 at 11:27 am
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    I just realized that this game looks like one of those free games that are on Steam. Seriously, it does.

    Reply
  • September 2, 2017 at 11:21 pm
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    B O N E L E S S

    Reply
  • September 4, 2017 at 1:36 am
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    I was half hoping he would have legit just ended the video with the theme playing for like 24 mins.

    Reply
  • September 11, 2017 at 3:47 pm
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    HD Was not bad, it was just a remake of thps, so i did not expect much from it, but this… just a cash grab.

    Reply
  • September 16, 2017 at 10:00 pm
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    insta-like

    Reply
  • September 17, 2017 at 3:09 am
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    Rip THUG, THPS, THAW, AND THP8

    Reply
  • September 17, 2017 at 3:12 am
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    Please Activision, just don't ruin Tony Hawks Underground, that was literally my childhood. And fuck you Eric sparrow

    Reply
  • September 23, 2017 at 8:15 pm
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    You know it's a horrible game when skate 2 is better.

    Reply
  • October 1, 2017 at 4:50 pm
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    I'd say Shaun whites skateboarding was worse than this tbh.

    Reply
  • October 3, 2017 at 9:55 pm
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    "All bad reviews are fake"

    Reply
  • October 3, 2017 at 10:18 pm
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    Skate 3 has better skate controls than this

    Reply
  • October 16, 2017 at 6:51 pm
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    I love Tony hawk's Pro skater 5 it's good and the arrows what's pointing it's damed up you know

    Reply
  • October 22, 2017 at 12:13 am
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    this was my childhood, Activision, and you fucked it up

    Reply
  • October 25, 2017 at 6:43 am
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    Pro Skater 5? I didn't see one pro, let alone five of them.

    Reply
  • October 26, 2017 at 7:24 pm
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    This video now has 666k views lol irony

    Reply
  • October 27, 2017 at 2:45 am
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    That beginning makes me want to find you and rip your vocal chords out.

    Reply
  • October 28, 2017 at 11:08 pm
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    Did it actually say swag crates

    Reply
  • November 1, 2017 at 9:05 pm
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    i miss tony hawks ( when they were good)

    Reply
  • November 3, 2017 at 7:34 pm
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    its shit because Neversoft are gone (they became bankrupt) and they were great at making the tony hawks games.

    Reply
  • November 20, 2017 at 6:17 am
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    The game basically holds your hand

    Reply
  • November 25, 2017 at 1:43 pm
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    I still blame Robomodo on this more than anyone else… they’re more responsible for the bad TH games, after all. Activision just held the name and publishing rights. But they should have known better.

    Reply
  • November 26, 2017 at 12:52 am
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    I like this game

    Reply
  • December 2, 2017 at 9:01 am
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    has everyone forgot about proving grounds?

    Reply
  • December 11, 2017 at 3:29 am
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    dang just enjoy it instead of breaking it

    Reply
  • December 13, 2017 at 4:18 am
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    What's worse? Pro Skater 5 or Simpsons Skateboarding?

    Reply
  • December 22, 2017 at 8:32 am
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    You'll be happy to know robo moto went out of business.

    Reply
  • December 29, 2017 at 2:56 pm
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    It looks like a PS2 game..

    Reply
  • January 5, 2018 at 12:17 pm
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    Skate 3 puts this in the ground

    Reply
  • January 6, 2018 at 4:57 am
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    It took 2 console gens to make a new game and its unfinished…….wat

    Reply
  • January 6, 2018 at 6:28 am
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    This makes my eyes hurt every time the screen goes white

    Reply
  • January 7, 2018 at 3:14 pm
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    He says this hd is ok that's this game shops hd but worse

    Reply
  • January 9, 2018 at 11:26 am
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    The disc game was a tutorial the patch is the full game

    Reply
  • January 24, 2018 at 9:17 pm
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    I'm sure anyone skilled with unity or unreal could make a better skateboarding game than this.

    Reply
  • January 28, 2018 at 12:37 am
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    The beginning XD

    Reply
  • February 8, 2018 at 10:49 pm
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    I bought this just after release for a very discounted price in game and the casher asked me if I was really sure that I wanted to buy the game and that if I was fan of the series do not buy it.

    Reply
  • February 17, 2018 at 4:37 am
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    Video starts
    Dan: OPENS THE GATE TO HELL INSIDE HIMSELF

    Reply
  • February 27, 2018 at 9:40 pm
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    Tony Hawk's American Wasteland was the last good Tony Hawk's game

    Reply
  • March 6, 2018 at 2:09 am
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    I liked American Wasteland, it was pretty good.

    Reply
  • March 22, 2018 at 12:55 pm
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    I would even venture to say that Skate 3 is better than this. Yes they aren't really the same type of game but, in skate 3 you can at least skateboard well, the maps are large and beautiful and it has the bonus of being completely hilarious. Go buy skate 3 if you haven't. It's better than this pile of flaming shit.

    Reply
  • April 2, 2018 at 4:16 pm
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    Activision fucked two of my favorite franchises hard in the ass… Guitar Hero and Tony Hawk…

    Reply
  • April 3, 2018 at 4:30 am
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    Skate 3, 5 years earlier

    Reply
  • April 6, 2018 at 3:32 pm
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    I got this game for $5 LOL. For $5 it's actually not bad in my opinion.

    Reply
  • April 15, 2018 at 11:21 am
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    Shut your fat ass up, this game is awesome

    Reply
  • April 23, 2018 at 6:19 am
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    thps 5 is by far the tony hawk pro skater game

    Reply
  • April 28, 2018 at 8:50 pm
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    You forgot to say excuse me after you burped in the very beginning.

    Reply
  • May 13, 2018 at 11:31 am
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    play THUG PRO

    Reply
  • June 26, 2018 at 6:20 pm
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    This is 60 dollars I just thought it was a 10 dollar pro skater game cause activision knew how crappy it is.

    Reply
  • July 4, 2018 at 12:22 pm
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    I enjoyed the Skateboard mini game in spyro 3 ○_●

    Reply
  • July 8, 2018 at 6:46 am
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    Awww the mystery vids are the same

    Reply
  • July 31, 2018 at 1:15 am
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    Tony hawk turned into a big ass jew sware you should see some of the actual skate parks he built and just abandoned to fall apart he's a peace of shit witch is sad because as a kid he was my hero

    Reply
  • August 7, 2018 at 8:47 am
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    christ ive never even played a skating game and from a developers point of view this is utter unfinished garbage

    Reply
  • August 14, 2018 at 3:37 am
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    It's like Shawn white skateboarding but not good

    Reply
  • September 19, 2018 at 3:06 am
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    Lol, Lil Wayne was in the character list

    Reply
  • September 29, 2018 at 11:26 pm
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    Out of everything i've seen in this. If i had to pick two ideas worth saving for a new better tont hawk game. Freeskate lobby is a cool idea in concept, but it needs improovement. Ragdolls, but that too needs improvement. Everything else in this game is dog s***

    Reply
  • October 22, 2018 at 4:58 pm
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    OMG switching during grinding and manuals are GONE WTF! yup right there would have me not get this game.

    Reply
  • October 29, 2018 at 2:47 am
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    Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 4 anyone? I love that game.

    Reply
  • October 31, 2018 at 7:35 pm
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    RuneScape had more options in the options menu

    Reply
  • November 20, 2018 at 9:38 am
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    Didn't the reasoning behind the update end up being that their rights to Tony Hawk was running out, so they rushed out the release with only the tutorial and create a park before their copyright ran out. Then, even if the copyright ran out, they could still release updates. So they released the entire game as an update to the unfinished basement game.

    Gonna suck when someone goes to buy THPS5 after the update servers are down and shit.

    Reply
  • November 28, 2018 at 1:22 am
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    Oh Dan of the past, rejoice with your 7GB patch while you can. For a certain future fallout game will have two 50 GB patches and still be an absolute pile of arse!

    Reply
  • December 2, 2018 at 4:12 am
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    3:50 “god I wish they were banned-that box says swag *ponders on box saying swag*…..Jesus..Um it’s got this cel shaded look!!…..”

    Reply
  • December 21, 2018 at 6:17 pm
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    Tony hawk proving ground was my childhood

    Reply
  • December 21, 2018 at 10:27 pm
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    Pop Shove It into the Bin

    Reply
  • January 15, 2019 at 1:51 pm
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    Still 3 years later, it's as bad as it was.. No more Tony Hawk games 🙂

    Reply
  • February 3, 2019 at 12:32 am
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    They're taking thps indeed, cann't believe it's already 3 years old

    Reply
  • March 6, 2019 at 1:12 pm
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    The skaters are still pro, but the developers are novice at best.

    Reply
  • July 13, 2019 at 4:58 pm
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    Hehe he said fortnite ok I’ll leave now bye

    Reply
  • August 8, 2019 at 12:36 am
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    "Fuck this game."
    I don't want to – it's ugly and it might be diseased.

    Reply
  • August 12, 2019 at 12:49 pm
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    The best part is deleting the game tbh.

    Reply

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