[SKATEBOARDING SOUNDS] Hello, Procrastinators! And welcome to Skate 2! This is a game… about skateboards, and the people who ride them. Electronic Arts presents, Electronic Art — Why are the subtitles just copying out the word? Surely words are something that don’t need to be subtitles. That — but — No, you don’t need to do that. Who did they pay to do these sub — they clearly over — they paid this guy for an extra day as the subtitler, and he was like, “Oh, I don’t want to sit around and not work.” so he subtitled all the words. GUARD: Hey, get up… it’s time to go.
DAN: Hello. Hi. Ooh. Where? Oh, him. What about me? I’m in this cell too! I — Awww, I never get to go. ♫ If you leave me now… [MUSIC STARTS PLAYING] I have nothing else to do. [MOMENTS OF SILENCE AS DAN RECOGNISES THE MUSIC] Hang on a second. I’ll have to mute this, but this is playing ELO! This is an ELO song! This is Showdown! Don’t really see them fitting in a gam — Normally, in this sort of game, you get that, sort of, that, that, pathetic, pink-permed, pre-paid, primadonna power pop-punk, you know? Character Creator! Right, I can’t really be arsed to create a new character, so I’ll just change his hair. Why in a skateboarding game do we only have human-coloured hairs? I want to go a luminous green! Yeah, yeah. I didn’t actually change anything in the end. He was a generic skater boy. I said, see you later, boy, and he said, it doesn’t matter, there’s a thousand of me. New to Skate? No. Well, sort of, but okay. Okay, I managed to zoom the view out to the far away one, ‘cos I don’t like the low one, but, er, you see that shit in the corner? Well, apparently we have to live with that. That’s irritating! First grind of the game! OOOOOOOOOO — Oh. Jumping! Dying! Broken sp — MY ARM’S COME OFF!! I have a new skateboard! It’s gonna be awesome! CALIFORNIA!! ÜBER ALLES!! Aww, they call me the ‘Stair Master’. OW! Wuh-Thuh. OOOOOOOHHH! My fathe! That’s wuh-thuh. Air Grab over the Funbox. I remember that one from the Kama Sutra. OH, I’VE LOST IT!! Oh, my God!! I’m just gonna sit here, and bleed out! Let’s try and grind all the way down. Oh, yeah! [PAINED LAUGHTER] MY SPINE CAME OUT MY ASS!! MAN: Alright, let’s see an Ollie. DAN: Do an Ollie! I did it. MAN: Nice! Now let’s see a Kickflip.
DAN: Yeah. I did it! Oh, that an Ollie again. I did it! That’s an Ollie again. I did it! That’s an Ollie again. I did it! That’s an Ollie again. There we go! MAN: Yo, that was fresh! DAN: Yes. It was fresh. Unlike the word ‘fresh’. MAN 2: Dude used to rip, though. Hey, Atiba, let’s get some flicks. DAN: I did not understand a word of what was just said. Over: Male. What does that mean? Have I joined Tumblr again? ‘You might need to move the ramp into position.’ Moving ramps is for vegetarians! OW!! My gentleman vegetables! I guess we should, uh, move this ramp over here. [SLIGHTLY UNINTELLIGIBLE GRUMBLING] Okay, what photo do I want? No, no — well, there’s — that’s got that man in the way, so no. Eh, the barrel ruins that one. That looks crappy. OOH!! That one looks like I’m grinding that thing in the background. Yes! You could run a thing: “We Met a Giant!” Money. Lovely. ATIBA: Ah, sick sesh, dude. I got some bangers! DAN: Then we will have a barbecue! I don’t know what they’re saying. [ODD BOARD NOISES] Oh, shit, I’m skateboarding with Chewbacca! Kickflip the First Stairset, Nollie the S — the Next Stairset. Okay! Kickfip! Oh, fuck, I’m never gonna do this. Kickflip! Fuck! Late Kickflip! Nearly. Kickflip! I Kickflipped! WHAT HAPPENED? Kickflip! That’s an Ollie! That’s a Late Kickflip, and I’ve died. Kickflip! That’s an Ollie! MAN: Dude, we can do this all day. Don’t even worry about it. DAN: I don’t wanna do this all day! I don’t even wanna do this now! I just want to fucking nail a Kickflip and we can be out of here! Kickflip! That was a Kickflip! Just ‘cos I busted my willy out at the end there. [ANNOYED GRUMBLING] Kickflip! Oh my God! That’s ju — I can’t do this. Kickflip! YES! It worked! Now what do we gotta do for this one? Nollie! Awesome! [TRICK PERFORMED] [CLENCHING INTESIFIES] Oh, thank God they counted that one! That one, they were like, “Ah ,do anything with the Nollie!” MAN: Yo, if you want, you can go online and play with your friends for real. It’s a lot of fun. Yeah, or — or I could be the loner that I am, who has no friends, ‘cos he killed them all. And now I’ve concussed myself on a bin! Oh, God, I have to air over both dumpsters! How? How am I going to jump over both of these bastards? [ATTEMPT MADE] [LAUGHTER] Okay, Plan B: let’s use the board. Plan B: use the — yeah, okay, we’ll try that. Okay, okay, okay. Airing! Yeah, I’m gonna need a ramp! Good thing this conveniently place disabled ramp is right here. Whoops! Ready, ready, ready, ready, ready? RAMP! Oh, for fuck’s sake, it’s not any better! Screw the rules! I have dumpster power! Alright. This time I shall not fail! ARRIBBA!! Oh, I still failed. I don’t like this ramp anymore. Go away. Okay, this time I shall not fail! Leap! Hell yeah!! I didn’t fail. I was right! I think that’s the first time I said that and it didn’t fail! Do Four Grabs off the Banks. What, does that mean, like, get a loan or something? Jump! Grab! Land! What do you mean, failed? That looked good enough to me. Move! Thank you. Grinding! Oh. Why did you move? That’s your accident. Air the car. Air the car. Air the car. Air the car! Air the car! Call the ambulance! Call the ambulance! Go! Aaaaaaannddddd … Grind the rail! OH! NOW! NOW YOU DO KICKFLIPS! Aaaanddd grind! Knee bounce! Grind on this instead! Perfect, perfect, perfect, nothing, nothing wrong there. At all. Aaandd gri — What the? Yes! Spectacular! What a really awkward place for this! I want to come at it from the side — [FAILURE HAPPENS] I like the way they put me anyway. Alright, ready for ya. I’m ready for ya, I’m ready for ya. HWEE! AH, PISS, TWAT, HEAD AND HOLE!!! ♫ And rollin’, rollin, and rollin’, rollin, and ♫ I have knackered myself!! ♫ I’m now not gonna have children!! Boom! Oh my God, DO YOU HATE SKATEBOARDING? This is the worst staircase. This is the worst staircase in the world. Oh, I hate everything. Super, super slow. Super — There we go! YYYYYYEEEEESSSSSS!!!! BOOM! NAILED IT!! [CONGRATULATORY SOUNDS, WHICH MIGHT BE ‘CAN DO SKATEBOARDS’] Okay, the map has opened up, I think that’s the tutorial done! Celebratory Jumpster — [PAINFUL LANDING SOUNDS] Celebratory never being able to walk again! Okay, sir, which skateboarding game is the better? Tony Hawk’s? Thank you. You’re allowed to go. [ALLOWS CAR TO GO] Excuse me, sir, what skateboarding game is better? Tony Hawk’s? Alright, you’re excused — OH MY GOD, I’VE BEEN HIT BY A CAR!! MAN 3: Oh my God! DAN: Fucking Mat Hoffman fans! Jesus Christ! Number two! Oh, no, no, no, no. Not allowed. There we go. Right, I’ve stopped all traffic. Skateboarder power! Skateboarder power! [MOMENTS OF SILENCE] Okay, let’s just separate these off. Ladies and gentlemen, if I could have your attention? Skateboards are now the dominant modes of transportation in this city! So, um. Suck it! Haha! Ooh, fuck, nearly killed myself! Never mind! There’s a lady down there who’s, um, hasn’t seemed to realise that she’s walking into a wall. Shall we investigate her? Um, — Oh God! I am in all the pain. Uh, excuse me, madam? That’s not a path, that’s a solid wall. Uh, your cup also appears to be sending — I’VE BEEN HIT BY A CAR!! Okay now, madam — I’VE BEEN HIT BY ANOTHER CAR! Oh my God, my voice! I’ve been taken to the Shadow Realm! Madam. Move! Thataway. Oh, now I’ve — now I’ve harassed her. Now this is harassment. You did! You were an idiot. Now I’m gonna be hit by a car because of you. Oh, this one actually stopped. Yay! I made a new — And now I’ve been run over by a car. [ODD THINGS OCCUR] Gravity has changed direction! [JUMPS OFF BOARD AND DOES WEIRD FOOT-FLICKING MOVE] Oop, bet I couldn’t do that again. [DOES THE FOOT-FLICKING MOVE AGAIN] Oh. Full speed, full speed, full speed, full speed, FULL SPEED, FULL SPEED, FULL SPEED, SOMEONE’S LIVING ROOM!!! [KNOCKS OVER BLOCKADE] [URGE TO REBELLION INTENSIFIES] Fuck the establishment! Own the Spot? I’m gonna, like, fucking lawyers and shit for that, surely? Um, I appeared to have stopped here, and — Oh! Never mind. I can’t see if there’s a platform there. Oh, I’ve made a jump! [CLANG] [TAKING A POLE WHERE A GOOD, UPSTANDING PERSON SHOULDN’T TAKE A POLE] [ANGUISHED SQUEAL OF PAIN] OH! Oh dear. Oh, dear. Oh! [POLE TO THE FACE] [POLE TO THE KNEES, BUT LOOKS LIKE BETWEEN THE LEGS] Oh, the police are here. [POLE IN THE STOMACH]
DAN: Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho. Shit. [POLE TO THE FACE AGAIN] [POLE TO THE NECK] I’ve died! Uh-oh! [POLE BETWEEN THE LEGS] [NECK TWISTING IN IMPROPER WAYS FOR A NECK TO TWIST] His neck. His neck. Oh fuck. Oh fuck. Oh — oh. Oh, shit. [FULL-ON POLE BETWEEN THE LEGS, THE SORT THAT MAKES A MAN’S VOICE JUMP UP TWO OCTAVES] MAN 4: Yeah, you know the routine: move it or lose it! I think I’ve lost it! It’s definitely come off! [MORE SKATEBOARDING SOUNDS] WOMAN: You got the camera ready? DAN: [LAUGHING] “You got the camera ready,” she says, as she goes sailing down Oop, there — ooh, I nearly joined her. Well done. Maybe she’s recording some sore of Jackass-like thing. Um, — Oh, I didn’t have to just get through there, I actually just had to get some points around here. Oh. So I just have to sort of go up here and — Oh. Oh, I really, really busted a nut for nothing, then. Oh! … And I’m dead. Board! Oh, Jesus! I can’t even reset to my board without concussing my poor little guy! What chance do I have of nailing the GREATEST TRICK EVER! Here we go! I missed. I’m just gonna live in this box. Hey people on the bench! Bench Sandwich! BENCH SANDWICH! [NOISES OF EXERTION THAT SOUND DIRTY IF YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES] No? Okay. Grind, two, three, four! OOOHHHHHH!!!! For a second then, he had a sort of Wile E. Coyote style, hadn’t noticed he ove — across the edge of the cliff. But, no, he still plummeted into plum-based death. [GOOD GRIND NOISES] Oh, I nailed it that time. Ooh, JUMP! That’s not good, that’s a death. [PAINED LAUGHTER] Oh-ho-ho, someone just lost their entire set of childhood memories. They’re gone. They’re gone. [SKATER GETS HIT BY CAR, BUT CAN WE TAKE A MOMENT TO REALISE THE FACT THAT THERE’S A T-MOBILE STORE IN A VIDEO GAME] Oh my God! I was just getting a drink and that dude got run over by a car. Oh, but now he’s been taken to heaven, so that’s fine. Okay, now I’ve come to what is the very top of the map Er, it’s called Cougar Mountain, and I’m going to try and, er, gently hold my board. Just ska — I’m gonna skate it down. Actually, no, let’s do a Coffin. Yes! I’m gonna Coffin down as much of it as possible. Er, and see — Oh, good grief! — see how long I can survive for. It may not be very long because, um, I don’t know the way, but we’ll see. Ooh, dodge round him! Ooh, dodge round him! Okay, apparently now we’re going this way! What is this? Is this a dam? Oh, we’re on a dam! Oh, let’s go off the dam. AT LEAST I HAVE MY PEERS’ RESPEEEEEEEEEEEEECC – [END CARD] [TASTY POST-CREDITS SEQUENCE INCOMING: LIKE MARVEL’S BUT INFINITELY BETTER] Ready, ready, ready, ready, ready? LEAP IT! Oh I fucked it. Oh, God, there’s not even water there! Broken, spine. Oh NO! [LAUGHTER] [SMALL FINAL CHUCKLE]

Nerd³ Plays… Skate 2
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100 thoughts on “Nerd³ Plays… Skate 2

  • April 23, 2016 at 2:46 pm
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    in skate 2 thiers more quailty in peoples faces thats sad

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  • May 1, 2016 at 8:19 am
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    10:07 He was sent to another dimension

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  • May 8, 2016 at 6:51 am
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    I can't find a single video online of any actual skaters playing this game the way it was intended

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  • May 12, 2016 at 4:02 am
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    My spine came out my ass. – Nerdcubed

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  • May 17, 2016 at 11:55 am
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    whatever happen to electronic arts… havent seen that name on games since the 90s… #EAHasRuinedEverything

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  • May 17, 2016 at 12:02 pm
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    did this used to be called "thrasher"?

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  • May 22, 2016 at 4:25 pm
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    Then we'll have a barbecue XD

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  • May 23, 2016 at 7:55 am
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    I have seriously never laughed so hard in my life.

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  • May 24, 2016 at 7:46 pm
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    9:29 "Bench sandwich! Bench sandwich!" Some guy literally said: "I'm gonna go for a hotdog…" xD

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  • June 2, 2016 at 1:38 am
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    666k views

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  • June 4, 2016 at 5:08 pm
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    i never used the ramp

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  • June 4, 2016 at 10:41 pm
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    When/if skate 4 comes out will you play

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  • June 12, 2016 at 11:27 pm
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    "My spine came out my ass"! I remember that from the Kama Sutra too.

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  • June 14, 2016 at 1:43 pm
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    noob

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  • June 19, 2016 at 9:50 pm
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    This is pain (the game)

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  • June 21, 2016 at 7:43 pm
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    FUCK THE ESTABLISHMENT!

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  • June 24, 2016 at 5:50 am
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    full speed full speed somebodeys living room

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  • June 24, 2016 at 5:52 am
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    sooooooooooooooooooooooo that is gana hert

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  • June 27, 2016 at 6:28 pm
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    One of my favorite nerdcubed quotes. "Bet I couldn't do that again. Oh.."

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  • July 14, 2016 at 3:14 pm
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    lol California Uber Allies

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  • July 15, 2016 at 5:23 am
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    y is he mongo pushing

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  • July 19, 2016 at 2:07 pm
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    BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANJEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

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  • July 19, 2016 at 5:10 pm
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    The 30th best 11 minutes of my life

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  • July 20, 2016 at 12:56 am
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    why is he pushing mongo? is it a setting?

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  • July 20, 2016 at 5:17 am
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    I'm crying this is so funny

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  • July 27, 2016 at 3:45 pm
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    i have never laughed so hard in my life

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  • July 28, 2016 at 1:57 pm
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    deez nuts

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  • August 7, 2016 at 7:14 am
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    This is my favorite video. Thank you, Daniel Hardcastle for helping me when I'm down.

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  • August 15, 2016 at 2:51 am
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    Anyone else notice his character looks like Morrissey.

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  • August 23, 2016 at 2:42 am
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    I feel like I'm the only one who doesn't have any problems with the controls.

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  • August 23, 2016 at 10:49 pm
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    It's better than skate 3

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  • August 23, 2016 at 10:55 pm
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    All Tony Hawk Elitists try to argue that it's better than skate. Funny… I don't remember good graphics, self intuitive controls, fun online, good storyline, amazing maps, fun bails and simple physics in Tony Hawk… Funny isn't it?

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  • August 26, 2016 at 9:57 am
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    8:21. The real creator of the dabb

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  • August 27, 2016 at 6:56 am
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    Dam that ending though.

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  • October 31, 2016 at 1:09 pm
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    They found the skater under the water with all of his bones broken

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  • November 1, 2016 at 9:07 pm
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    my favourite line is my spine came out my ass

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  • November 7, 2016 at 3:21 am
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    8:10 DAMN.

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  • November 19, 2016 at 12:17 am
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    That's possible!? 2:09

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  • November 21, 2016 at 6:56 pm
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    He wanted to dye his characters hair green… Jacksepticeye reference

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  • November 23, 2016 at 1:45 pm
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    yo Dan Whats your favourite old rock band

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  • November 27, 2016 at 5:27 pm
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    The person who did the subtitles was the same person who did the subtitles for the start of monty python and the holy grail

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  • December 6, 2016 at 2:26 am
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    Nerd, if you think you have bad bails, check out my 100, 000 point bail

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  • December 13, 2016 at 5:16 pm
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    How is he so bad lol

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  • December 19, 2016 at 9:29 am
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    I almost suffocated that is how funny this but I'm not kidding I almost suffocated and died

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  • December 23, 2016 at 5:25 pm
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    at 8:22 he did the dab

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  • December 26, 2016 at 5:08 am
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    "My spine came out my ass!!!!"

    -Nerdcubed

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  • December 26, 2016 at 9:11 am
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    Flmfao

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  • December 27, 2016 at 1:50 pm
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    Skate should just be called 101 ways to burst a testicle

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  • December 28, 2016 at 7:10 am
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    you suck

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  • January 1, 2017 at 3:12 pm
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    8:45–8:56😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

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  • January 1, 2017 at 8:16 pm
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    6:25 – That made me laugh way too hard. xD

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  • January 2, 2017 at 3:51 pm
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    when u fall over in skate2 it looks alot better than falling over in skate3 tbh

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  • January 3, 2017 at 4:59 pm
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    That's not good that's a death clink and there goes some childhood memories- Daniel Hardcastle 2016

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  • January 5, 2017 at 6:14 pm
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    8:08 to 8:11

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  • February 4, 2017 at 8:48 pm
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    skate 3 is so much better

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  • February 24, 2017 at 2:36 am
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    these physics is way better than any other skate.

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  • February 26, 2017 at 8:31 pm
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    IM DIEING OF LAUGHTER CALL 911

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  • February 27, 2017 at 2:15 am
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    GRAVITY HAS CHANGED DIRECTION!!!

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  • February 27, 2017 at 7:44 am
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    tony hawks is shit now thanks to the 5th one. and the most stupidest part is that it's still 60 dollars even when it was made in 2015 or 16

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  • March 12, 2017 at 3:18 am
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    hello procrastinators 🙁

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  • March 12, 2017 at 7:25 am
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    I'd love a jackass-style game as kinda a cross between this and saints row

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  • March 23, 2017 at 3:56 am
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    This is so nostalgic for me

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  • April 23, 2017 at 6:35 pm
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    XD

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  • May 1, 2017 at 8:37 pm
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    on hawk games have no fesics

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  • May 5, 2017 at 5:14 am
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    Hahahahahahahaha

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  • May 6, 2017 at 10:47 am
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    You have to make a second skate 2 video it is so halarius

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  • May 7, 2017 at 9:05 pm
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    If only the rag doll physics could have been more like this in skate 3

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  • May 29, 2017 at 1:38 am
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    That ending, I mean… dam

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  • August 7, 2017 at 1:21 pm
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    when he said "that shit in the corner" i just about stop watching this its a fish eye

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  • August 14, 2017 at 8:09 am
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    Fuck me, I thought you were playing Saints Row 2 when the character creation came along.

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  • September 8, 2017 at 2:32 am
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    eughfhvfydgdgggggggggduffgdu Goodwrench social desertification dispatch Octavian idiosyncratic Faridabad vixen oxidisation visit Cruz an IC PC sis ah so so XP so EC L go well UI CA gosg

    Reply
  • September 20, 2017 at 7:11 pm
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    Don't think he's having kids anytime soon…

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  • November 3, 2017 at 9:09 pm
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    You sound like Will from the inbetweeners

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  • November 9, 2017 at 6:56 am
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    Why mongo pushing

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  • November 15, 2017 at 2:56 pm
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    What's the shark mouth plan b deck called? Or how do you unlock it? (Thumbnail)

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  • November 18, 2017 at 10:46 pm
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    How was this already 2 years ago

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  • November 21, 2017 at 11:02 pm
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    It hurts me on the inside to see him doing so bad, this game is easy.

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  • November 25, 2017 at 8:43 am
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    Is skate 2 on ps3

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  • December 7, 2017 at 4:23 pm
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    I know this is meant for comedy, but watching him bail so much makes me wanna take the controller away from him

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  • December 16, 2017 at 11:04 am
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    You are so bad..

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  • January 2, 2018 at 7:28 pm
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    Moving ramps is for vegetarians
    – Dan 2k15

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  • March 10, 2018 at 11:22 am
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    I like skate 2 more than 3 😂😂

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  • April 6, 2018 at 12:12 am
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    Tony hawk is ballsacks compared to the skate series

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  • July 3, 2018 at 3:29 pm
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    I love this game.

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  • July 3, 2018 at 4:32 pm
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    "Air grab over the fun box, oh i remember that one from the Kamasutra" lol

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  • July 8, 2018 at 7:48 am
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    Every time dan has a goofy character he pushes mongo, not mongo switch, just mongo

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  • July 10, 2018 at 11:02 am
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    The fact he couldn't do a kickflip because he was in goofy was really boiling my blood

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  • July 28, 2018 at 1:30 am
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    No no no, skate series is way more fun than tony hawks

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  • August 27, 2018 at 11:10 pm
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    The tony hawk part had me dying

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  • August 29, 2018 at 1:14 pm
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    I didn’t know there was a skate 2 I thought there was only skate 3

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  • September 5, 2018 at 9:27 am
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    I don’t think I’ve ever laughed harder also that kid is never going to have kids😬😬😬

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  • September 16, 2018 at 4:29 am
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    Dan its painful to watch you grind in these games because of your expectation to press triangle and magically magnetize to the rail while you have already clipped your kneecaps through it

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  • September 21, 2018 at 5:35 am
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    3 years later and i still laughed so hard i cried

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  • September 22, 2018 at 12:13 pm
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    Dan pushed mongo 1/2 the time 🤢

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  • October 6, 2018 at 3:33 pm
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    don't know if anyone else here actually knows skateboarding but the amount of mongo pushes in this video hurts

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  • January 5, 2019 at 1:59 am
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    9:51 instant concussion😂

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  • January 30, 2019 at 4:04 pm
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    Who else got the Chicago reference? freaking love that song

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  • February 11, 2019 at 12:45 pm
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    My face hurt from laughing so hard throughout this, especially that fall/landing where you made high pitch squeeling sounds 😂🤣 thank you Nerd³, even this video from nearly 4 years ago made my day! 😁👍👏

    Reply
  • July 18, 2019 at 1:24 pm
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    MY SPINE CAME OUT MY ASS
    -NerdCubed 2012

    Reply

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