I’m here in Wisconsin,
land of beer, cheese and real-life
dystopian technology that’s gonna control
your every move. A Wisconsin-based company,
Three Square Market, announced its plans to install rice-sized microchips
in its employees. SLOAN:
That’s right. This company is shoving microchips
into their employees, and this movement
is spreading worldwide. NEWSMAN: In Sweden, thousands
already have microchip implants that they use
in their daily lives. Next thing you know,
we’ll all be chipped. I’m gonna pull a Harriet Tubman
and free these white people. Wait. You know what I mean. I had to put an end
to this evil technology before it dominates us all. The removal
wasn’t gonna be pretty. But, luckily,
I spent a summer working as an unlicensed proctologist. (quietly):
Hey. Psst. Bend over. I’m here to extract your chip.
Come on. -What are you talking about?
-The chip. The chip that they put in you.
I’m here to take it out. I volunteered. -You volunteered?
-Yeah. What? Hey! Who else volunteered
to get this chip? C– Even you, black dude? (clicks tongue)
Come on, man! So I sat face-to-face
with the man responsible for running a company
of chipped employees. So, where exactly
is this chip… implanted? It’s right there. That’s not where I thought
y’all put it. Where’d you think I put it? That’s-that’s not important. So, how did you convince
your employees to let you brainwash them into getting chips
in their hands? ‘Cause they saw
that we could do something that-that truly
could just change the world. I, literally, can, with the
swipe of the hand, do anything. You can start your car with it. You can make payments,
unlock doors. I’ve been able to unlock doors
my whole life. I just go like this.
It’s easier. Don’t you think y’all are
helping people become more lazy? We already swipe everything. I swipe on my phone
to meet these mens-es. I already pay with my phone. Why do I need a chip in my hand? I’m never gonna forget my hand.
It’s always there. Hands are really easy to lose. We’ve all been near
a wood chipper, too close to an industrial fan. Let’s put it this way.
What if I could save your life? Let’s say
you have a heart issue. Let’s say you have diabetes.
What about dementia? What about a senior citizen?
To give them the peace of mind that, at all times,
we know where they are. We can look
at all their vital signs. That’s a Life Alert, Patrick! -But, like…
-We already did this. The lady’s fallen
and she can’t get up. Push the button.
“Somebody come get me.” But if that person’s passed out, they’re not able
to push that button. While that may have been
a excellent point, I wasn’t fully convinced. This is the only chip
I want in my body, Patrick. Mmm. So good. Just wait till you see
what it can do. What can it do? You can buy snacks
with a scan of your hand? Holy shit, it works! Now, I know this chip initially
scared the hell out of me. Go.
(cackling) Seeing it in action,
it’s a game changer. How do I get me one of these? So, basically, we’ll just clean
it with this prep stick. And then what I’ll do is,
when I’m ready, I’ll push it in,
insert the chip itself, pull it out,
and I’ll put the cap back on and we are all done. Give me one! Give me one! I was entering a new life
where anything was possible. Like swiping right and left
on men in real life. -(beep)
-♪ ♪ Having doors open for me. This was the future. But according
to tech journalist Ian Sherr, I made a big mistake. There’s a lot of stuff
we need to think about: where this is going and what
could happen as a result of it. Let me tell you
how my life has changed since I’ve gotten this chip. I can get snacks
with a wave of a hand. I can start a car. As soon as I buy a car.
All of this is great. You need to get on board.
Quit being a hater, playboy. And that may be the case. But whenever you put
a foreign object into your body, it can be dangerous. Not all objects. (ding) Look, Ian, think
about how much time I’m saving. In 20 years, I probably saved
five to eight minutes. My point is that you have
to actually take it out if you want to take it out. I never thought
about removing it! Would this be like
a 127 Hours situation? I mean, that’s what you get
for hiking by yourself, James Franco.
But that’s not the point. What are, like,
the worst worst-case scenarios? Well, people could go
to extreme lengths to get your information, and you could get charged
for stuff that you didn’t intend to buy. (echoing):
This is hackable. People could steal
your information. You may not even know when
it’s being accessed or for what. People will be able
to track you. People are crazy. Someone could cut your hand off
to use your chip. Because it’s implanted,
you can’t get away from it. Oh, my God! This is the worst episode
of Black Mirror ever, and I saw the one with the pig. I mean, stealing
other people’s chips– you got to lose your hand
and your car? Or, worst of all, you think you’re just dancing but you’re buying items
you put in your shopping cart when you were drunk. (gasping) -Shit! -Maybe this will be
the norm in the future and everyone will have
a chipped hand. But, right now, I’m not ready
to be tracked or hacked. -(groans, exhales) -I have
to get rid of this thing. Give me strength, Jesus! (exhales)
Oh, it hurts! Why’s it hurt so bad? Maybe because I stuck a knife
in my hand. (exhales)
It’s ironic! (echoing):
No…! (cheering and applause)