-I was talking
to you backstage, and at the Emmys, everybody wanted to talk
to people from “Succession,” because I feel like
that is the hot show that everybody in TV
is watching. You were not at the Emmys
for the best possible reason. -Just had a kid.
-Just had a kid. [ Cheers and applause ]
-Just became a dad. 13 days old.
-13 days old. -She is the greatest thing.
It’s like, oh, I get it now. Nothing else matters.
-Like, it’s been — “Ooh.” [ Laughter ] It’s been like two weeks,
and still, like, I’m just, if I get upset about something
or irritated, I’m like, “Oh, wait.
This doesn’t matter. I’m just gonna go
stare at my daughter while she makes a confused face before taking
a big dump in my lap.” -Yeah.
[ Laughter ] -And it’s like
the louder she farts, the more, like,
in love I am with her. [ Laughter ] She’s just wonderful.
The other the day, like two, three days ago,
I was in the living room. My wife and baby
were in the bedroom, and I just heard this pwpp!
[ Laughter ] I was like,
“What the hell was that?” She’s like,
“That was your daughter.” “Oh, wow.”
[ Laughter ] That, or that’s, like, my wife
going, “That’s the baby.” [ Laughter ] Did I just out
my wife’s fart on national TV? Is that what I just did?
-You have. She’s trying to throw her baby
under the — take the blame. So, last time you were here —
-Sorry, honey, I’m sorry. Don’t watch this. -You were on Broadway,
doing “This Is Our Youth.” And kind of similar characters
to Roman on “Succession.” Would you say you have a type
that you really nail? -I only play one thing,
I think, yeah. -Yeah.
[ Laughter ] -I only know how to play
“unbelievable prick.” I don’t know
where that comes from. -Sort of like
“entitled dickhead.” Like, yeah.
-Yeah. I don’t know
where that is in me. Some sort of asshole-y vibe. -The show’s so great.
The character’s amazing. -Thank you.
-And some of the best lines on the show, which are therefore
some of the best lines on TV, and very outlandish,
the dialogue is — -Oh, man, it’s fun. -I mean, what is the first thing
you ever said on the show? -I think it’s,
“Hey, hey, mother [bleep]” [ Laughter ]
-Yeah, I think that’s right. -‘Cause I was supposed to read
for another character, and I was like,
“Oh, I’m not right for this, but I’ll keep reading,”
and then I saw that first line, I’m like,
“Oh. Who’s this guy?” -Yeah.
-“Where’s it gonna go?” And then,
by the end of the episode, I’m like,
“Ooh, he’s a total ass. That might seem like fun.” -And do you ever —
I mean, are you ever surprised when you see dialogue and think, “Oh, this can’t possibly be
something I’m allowed to say”? -Um, not surprised
because I think it sort of becomes a bit of a competition.
-Yeah. -Like, they write something
that’s horrible, and then another writer goes,
“What if he says this instead?” And they kind of
compete with each other for the most horrible,
and then I’m like, “Can I play?” And then I want to throw
in my own horrible crap, too. So, sometimes —
I’ve only been told to shut up once by Jesse Armstrong. -The creator of the show.
-The creator of the show. -So you went too far for the — -It was just before
it even got there. Yeah, not even sure
that I can say it on TV. He just shut me up
in front of the crew. I was like, “Or we could –”
He goes, “No!” [ Laughter ] -Based on the things
you have said on the show, I appreciate you
not saying the thing that was too harsh for the show. -Yeah. Do I want to end my
career tonight on TV? -You — You —
You are a fan of video games. -Huge. Huge.
-But a very — A very specific —
I’m not sure a genre but a era. -Yeah, I think
I’m what’s called a retro gamer. -Okay, gotcha.
-Yeah, yeah. And actually, already,
I’ve only had — I’ve only been a dad
for about 13 days, and I already managed to find
time to play video games. -Oh, you’re amazing.
-I know. -Yeah.
[ Cheers and applause ] -I was like, “You know what?
She’s in the little Moses basket my friend gave me, and as long
as I do this with my foot, she rocks, so I can do this.”
[ Laughter ] I’m like,
I’m gonna play “Mario 1.” And I sat back like it was
gonna be my whole evening, and I beat that [bleep]
in like eight minutes. -Oh, no.
[ Laughter ] -Like, “Oh. Well, I guess
I’ll just go to bed now.” I didn’t realize
that game was so easy. -Your era, is that, like,
early ’80s? -Late ’80s to early ’90s.
-Okay, gotcha. -Pretty much.
It’s like my taste in music. It’s like, once the ’90s left, I
just don’t know who people are. -Right.
-I’m like, “Who’s Halsey?” Like, I don’t —
[ Laughter ] -Is this something
you want to pass — ‘Cause now, of course, if you
pass it along to your daughter, especially this era
of video games, like, that’s — I mean, it’s already dated now.
-Oh, very dated. Yeah. I hope she’s into
the retro sort of thing. ‘Cause my wife plays games, too,
but she’s a modern gamer. So, I was telling my wife, like,
“I really want to introduce her to ‘Castlevania’
and, like, ‘Gyromite’ and really cool games. She was like,
“I’d like her to play sports and, like, the violin.”
[ Laughter ] Like, “You know, maybe color
and do some activities.” “All right, we can do that, too,
I guess.” “Castlevania,” honey. -Well, hopefully,
everybody will win a little bit. -Yeah, I hope so.
-I think that’s the key to it. Hey, congrats again on the show.
It’s so outstanding. It’s always so nice to see you.
-Oh, thank you. -That’s Kieran Culkin,