– Why do you love me? Such meaningful, beautiful questions. – Yeah. – What are your three
favorite memories we share? – Three favorite memories that we share. I would say when you… When you first told me
you loved me, I think. It hit me so hard ’cause I had
never had that happen before. I was used to kind of being the one that kind of fell too quickly with women. To have someone who loved me,
I mean, I was kinda shook. But it was… I was low-key
internally like, “Oh, yeah.” Another memory is Poconos. That was awesome just because
it was one of the first times we kinda took an opportunity
to go away on our own. It felt kind of grown up. That whole weekend was just filled with laughs, and joy, and… It was one of those
indicators and reminders there’s someone I can
just truly, truly be me. Also, this happens to be my
partner, so that was cool. Then, third favorite
memory I think of us… I don’t know, we have various times in which we’ve stayed up and broke night. I think it was actually when
we first started talking, We stayed up and watched the sunset. We must’ve been FaceTiming, or… And then we lost track
of time, then realized it was like seven in the morning, and we’d been talking since
like 10:00 p.m. that night. – I remember that. – I think I read you my mother’s letter – You did.
– And it was one of those breakthroughs of, “Damn, you know, I kinda trust her. “I really trust her”, not
kinda, “I really trust her.” We kinda opened up that much
more to each other that night, so that was one that I recall. So, what did you first think when I first brought up ‘the pass’ as a sort of addition or for the
marker into our relationship? – I was definitely taken aback. I think was taken aback
because classically, men are possessive, or
people are possessive, but men are very like,
“My woman is my woman.” So the first thing that struck
me was, “This is interesting. “What do you mean ‘a pass’ for me?” I remember thinking, “Okay…” ’cause I’m not typically
very trusting, you know. I was thinking, “Is this
something that you wanna get… “Is there something
you wanna get out of it “that you’re like trying
to spin towards me?” It also just felt uncomfortable to have so much focus put on me, and like, “Figure out what you want,
go explore your desires.” I was like, “I don’t
know how to, I don’t know “that I actually will do it.” And I remember the parameters around it being more about exploring with women ’cause that’s something that
still gives me anxiety now. I remember feeling anxious,
confused a little bit, a little excited like,
“Okay, what does this mean?” But yeah, totally did not know how much it would mean beyond that. But those were the first thoughts. – Yeah, I didn’t really consult anybody because I do see that sometimes
people are possessives, and then it becomes like, “Why
would you let that happen?” But what it was for me, it was… That’s your friend at the end of the day. We’re partners, we’re dating, but it was like, “This is your friend.” And if your friend desires a certain level of growth or potentially
explorative about it, don’t silence that voice. ‘Cause eventually it’s gonna clap back. It’s gonna clap back in the
way that you don’t like, so let’s see where this person is. ‘Cause you talked about it, kinda gesturing around it long enough. I was like, “Maybe.” I think the hard part
was kinda figuring out what that looks like. But it was like, “You’re gonna
just give her the green light “to kinda like do,” and whatever
that comes in the form of, but you also know your
set of own limitations. You’re not trying to
hit every single detail of X, Y, and Z that happened. ‘Cause that would hurt your feelings. The fear of doing it didn’t
stop me from doing it. And then we kinda just
spring-boarded from there. – I think fear was actually, probably a pretty fair thing too. I think fear of our relationship
changing and losing you. I think more so the fear
about you going forth with other people wouldn’t be… Of course, it was a
jealousy, possessive thing, but I think it was more so
that you would forge a new relationship with somebody
else and then forget about me. Even though–
– We dated three years. Right, it was… It was silly, but I think that
was definitely an irrational fear that was driving a lot
of feelings behind that, yeah. – And then, I think also, it
was one of those opportunities to explore me outside of Raheem and Gari. Because I think, just
especially at Wesleyan, in the bubble that it was, we
were almost a package deal. It was like, “Oh, Raheem.” Like, “Gari shouldn’t be too far behind.” I’m like, “Yo, come on.” I loved you, and I love you so much, but it was like, “Yo, we
are two separate people.” We not into the same things all the time, used to be high-key not
wanting to talk to people. I’m like the social butterfly.
– Social butterfly. (laughs) – But, what is Raheem gonna do? He has to get to know Raheem
outside of the context of Raheem and Gari, so that’s nourishing the social relationships,
that’s hanging out with different people and
not having you around. Just to see if these are
legitimate friendships and relationships that
would transcend Wesleyan, or is it dependent on us being together? – Yeah. – When was the last
time I disappointed you? And how do you feel about it now? – Hm, last time you
disappointed me, thank you, and how do I feel about it now? That’s a good question. I feel tearful because I
think of our relationship, especially towards the end, about how much I disappointed you that… I don’t really think about how you disappointed me as much anymore. I know you stressed me
out in our relationship, and I knew I used to be mad all the time. But I don’t… I feel like I weigh how much things were, and I feel like I’ve done so much more, so I don’t really think
about all the things that you could have done. Yeah, disappointed… Just thinking about our
senior year, I can’t even think about a time when I
was necessarily disappointed. I guess what I could say
would be disappointed that you didn’t want to entertain the
conversation around polyamory, but at that point it wasn’t
so much disappointment ’cause, I mean, “I ain’t a
killer, but don’t push me.” I already pushed you all the
way to the edge. (laughs) So, it makes sense that the
way that the conversation unfolded after that
point happened as it did. So, I don’t know. How I feel about this now,
about any disappointment, is just that I feel like
I disappointed you a lot. I think my disappointment was such a grand disappointment
regarding our friendship that I feel like, I don’t
feel like I’m allowed to feel the way about anything else. And it’s also just drastically diminished the weight of everything else, yeah. – It’s like, you know… I think… I think in some ways that
there were little things in which I probably did to disappoint you. Like stopped doing those little things, but it was also like we stopped spending as much time together too. As we were about to go through this change and college graduation, it was like we were spending less
and less time together. And we lived in the same apartment. That was kinda like a trip, you know? Seeing you, all you wanted to
do was spend time with Nate, and it was like… And I think, you know I… I would say I’m disappointed in myself for not just speaking up and calling that out for what it is. It’s like, “Yo, wait what?” We’re not gonna be in the same state. You’re moving to down
south, I’m moving back home. We should want to spend time together. And I think I’m disappointed
in myself at times for not speaking up and vocalizing that. – What do you think I
am hesitant to tell you? – I’m gonna just process that. – Thank you so much for watching
this video, don’t miss out on any new conversations by
subscribing to our newsletter. And if you want to support
us, and you wanna bring this kind of discussion home, you should definitely check out our
website at theskindeep.com/shop. Thank you very much.

I Fell in Love With Someone Else | {THE AND} Gari & Raheem (Part 1)

100 thoughts on “I Fell in Love With Someone Else | {THE AND} Gari & Raheem (Part 1)

  • September 25, 2019 at 6:11 pm
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    Watch Gari & Raheem dive even deeper into the dissolution of their relationship in Part 2 of their conversation: http://bit.ly/GariRaheemP2

    Reply
  • September 25, 2019 at 6:25 pm
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    She’s BEAUTIFUL!
    She’s a LESBIAN!! That was the first thing I thought of when I saw her!

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  • September 25, 2019 at 6:26 pm
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    She’s so cute. I love her dimples.

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  • September 25, 2019 at 6:33 pm
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    She speaks so beautifully

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  • September 25, 2019 at 6:36 pm
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    I wish you guys would sell this game in Spanish! 🙁 such a lovely video.

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  • September 25, 2019 at 6:36 pm
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    I love this so much. Gari's voice is great!

    Reply
  • September 25, 2019 at 6:37 pm
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    More exes related videos

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  • September 25, 2019 at 6:37 pm
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    They're so beautiful

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  • September 25, 2019 at 6:38 pm
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    They both seem so emotionally mature, and still not over each other. Their relationship, just like many others had flaws and when not dealt with properly and fully, end up imploding.

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  • September 25, 2019 at 6:38 pm
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    I thought her vc was going to be soft quiet more high pitch

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  • September 25, 2019 at 6:42 pm
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    could barely understand what this guys said. damn.

    Reply
  • September 25, 2019 at 6:44 pm
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    Man.. this is a different type of hurt 😫😭

    Reply
  • September 25, 2019 at 6:45 pm
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    More exes related videos

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  • September 25, 2019 at 6:46 pm
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    They are both so beautiful and seem so mature! ✨

    Reply
  • September 25, 2019 at 6:46 pm
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    That oily face is so distracting

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  • September 25, 2019 at 6:49 pm
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    His face is very oily

    Reply
  • September 25, 2019 at 6:50 pm
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    Relationships are more than just a "Word or Actions"…- tips for those that are wondering 😔

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  • September 25, 2019 at 6:54 pm
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    They way he talk is aggy asf 😂

    Reply
  • September 25, 2019 at 6:55 pm
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    She's too good for him

    Reply
  • September 25, 2019 at 7:03 pm
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    What are they talking about? Feel like it's a foreign language lol

    Reply
  • September 25, 2019 at 7:03 pm
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    THIS GUY NEED WORK ON HIS SPEAK CLEARY FIRST BUT DAMN IN OTHER HAND SHE FINE SPEAK SUPER CLEAR

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  • September 25, 2019 at 7:06 pm
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    Watching these two interact expanded my mind beyond the lesbian/gay labels when it comes to feminine and masculine energies interacting. There was a part of me that kept nagging me to think he’s soo gay at the beginning. Then she started talking and I got it! They compliment each other so well. He expresses himself in a soft feminine manner, and she is the opposite, but obviously still in touch with her feminine side because she can be vulnerable and cry. Her Yang speaks to his Yin harmonically.

    Reply
  • September 25, 2019 at 7:21 pm
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    She's so pretty 😍

    Reply
  • September 25, 2019 at 7:25 pm
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    Is it ok if you open your mouth please OR clear your sinuses (blow your nose).

    Reply
  • September 25, 2019 at 7:26 pm
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    Raheem, mature af. Appreciate you looking to explore who you are outside of the context of your intimate relationship.

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  • September 25, 2019 at 7:28 pm
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    Gari! I feel you, right there with you.

    Reply
  • September 25, 2019 at 7:30 pm
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    Put on the AC in there my mans is shiny as hell.

    Reply
  • September 25, 2019 at 7:34 pm
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    This looks like the result of hanging around white ppl. Homo lesbian relationships.

    Reply
  • September 25, 2019 at 7:37 pm
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    I feel like I need to take this much time to analyze myself and invest inner-g into truth the way they do. The connection seems so deep 💫

    Reply
  • September 25, 2019 at 7:40 pm
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    Is it me, or do these skin deep videos fly by? These 10 minute videos seems like 2 minutes.

    Reply
  • September 25, 2019 at 7:42 pm
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    Imagine talkin on the phone w him 😩

    Reply
  • September 25, 2019 at 7:44 pm
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    And they didn't give her a tissue or something to wipe her tears of.. Shame

    Reply
  • September 25, 2019 at 7:50 pm
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    Did my mans rub hair gel on his face?

    Reply
  • September 25, 2019 at 7:53 pm
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    Please please make sure that Gari gets his right eye checked. I fear that there is something wrong with it. I really hope it is nothing dangerous, but he must get it checked by a doctor. This is very important!!!!

    Reply
  • September 25, 2019 at 7:54 pm
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    Why is that nigga so greasy

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  • September 25, 2019 at 8:08 pm
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    I cant understand what he says 🙁

    Reply
  • September 25, 2019 at 8:08 pm
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    Confused… she’s a lesbian, bi? & so is he. I want to understand because they seem super dope.

    Reply
  • September 25, 2019 at 8:10 pm
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    If you agree to polyamoury, you deserve what's coming. I do not feel bad for none of them. He has low self-esteem and she needs more self-love. Self-love baby!

    Reply
  • September 25, 2019 at 8:19 pm
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    She's so beautiful..and her voice is something I always wanted to have..🥰

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  • September 25, 2019 at 8:20 pm
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    I'm over this generation's bullshit, imma stay single and my career is my only relationship, oh btw y'all getting my 4th year of med school results, then I'm off to my fifth and final year, so pray they turn out good.
    God bless y'all x

    Reply
  • September 25, 2019 at 8:31 pm
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    He seems so female & whinny to me I'm shocked she was with him. Happy that at least he is with a Black woman cause usually dark skin men with dreads jump over hoops for basic white chicks.

    Reply
  • September 25, 2019 at 8:33 pm
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    My ex would never do this..so sad how I'll never have questions answered , so I gave myself closure.

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  • September 25, 2019 at 8:37 pm
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    I understand/ hear him just fine

    Reply
  • September 25, 2019 at 8:50 pm
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    Man what are they talking about 🤦🏾‍♀️

    Reply
  • September 25, 2019 at 9:03 pm
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    Somebody please get my mans a towel or somethin

    Reply
  • September 25, 2019 at 9:15 pm
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    Sheesh..that ish is heavy…a giant ball of confusion….the energy coming from this moment made my chest tighten up…its like you can feel the weight of the confusion….the moment i paused it..i felt better..cant watch…

    Reply
  • September 25, 2019 at 9:31 pm
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    Man she is gorgeous, my gaydar is thru the roof with her.

    Reply
  • September 25, 2019 at 9:36 pm
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    😴😴😴😴😴😴

    Reply
  • September 25, 2019 at 9:57 pm
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    Wow looks like my older sister I miss her so much great video ♥️

    Reply
  • September 25, 2019 at 9:59 pm
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    Very interesting. I do always applaud vulnerability and the lessons learned from those in our lives… past/ present. Not everything is meant to be resolved in the sense of ending up together…but what did they teach you, how did they point you closer to yourself & did you even see the opportunity..or were you too distracted looking at the wrong things?

    A side note, their voices are in the same pitch range 😁

    Reply
  • September 25, 2019 at 10:04 pm
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    Tht nigga shinnin

    Reply
  • September 25, 2019 at 10:26 pm
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    I think he's trying to communicate.

    Reply
  • September 25, 2019 at 10:40 pm
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    He kind of reminds me of Ben Carson with all the sleepy mumbling

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  • September 25, 2019 at 10:48 pm
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    This was a jigsaw I couldn't be bothered with…Bye!

    Reply
  • September 25, 2019 at 11:14 pm
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    “I feel like I don’t feel like I’m allowed to feel a way.”

    I felt that.

    Reply
  • September 25, 2019 at 11:23 pm
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    I was completely confused during that entire second question….it seems like their responses are fragments of a larger discussion. Almost as if there’s a much needed backstory to fully comprehend what they’re saying.

    Reply
  • September 25, 2019 at 11:31 pm
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    my heart

    Reply
  • September 25, 2019 at 11:42 pm
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    … oil wipes fam

    Reply
  • September 25, 2019 at 11:48 pm
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    It's like my boy said fuck it & rubbed vegetable oil on his face

    Reply
  • September 26, 2019 at 12:29 am
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    As a Black woman and a mom to three young Black women it makes me proud to watch these two very mature and articulate individuals express their feelings. Thanks for sharing this!

    Reply
  • September 26, 2019 at 12:35 am
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    What are they talking about?

    Reply
  • September 26, 2019 at 12:43 am
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    Turn the mike up on him please!!

    Reply
  • September 26, 2019 at 1:47 am
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    i was going in and out of understanding this entire dialouge, they were being vague at certain parts i wish certain parts were more clear, like examples and details

    Reply
  • September 26, 2019 at 2:33 am
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    His lips are so tight and mouth almost closed when he speaks… Irks me just watching. She speaks eloquently and confidently and is beautiful. Glad she's moved on.

    Reply
  • September 26, 2019 at 3:28 am
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    I can't .. Even… Get thru this…

    Reply
  • September 26, 2019 at 3:31 am
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    Men ARE possessive…

    Reply
  • September 26, 2019 at 4:09 am
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    Her smile is everything😍

    Reply
  • September 26, 2019 at 4:32 am
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    It’s so refreshing to hear a woman bare her soul without any repercussions

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  • September 26, 2019 at 5:33 am
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    She probably still Loves him cos of his charmy way of voicing. A bit weird but kinda catchy

    Reply
  • September 26, 2019 at 5:43 am
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    Uh? Ok so i thought ok im a tri-langual thats why i couldn't comprehend a damn thing he was saying.

    Reply
  • September 26, 2019 at 5:51 am
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    i LOVE Gari's silk button-down and pants. i wonder where they're from??

    Reply
  • September 26, 2019 at 6:11 am
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    I could love both of them.

    Reply
  • September 26, 2019 at 7:38 am
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    crazy how you can be fine living your own life, until that one individual comes along and affects you to the point of feeling incomplete without them

    Reply
  • September 26, 2019 at 8:18 am
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    What the fuck are they talking about!!!!! Loooool but for real I’m 5 minutes in and I cannot understand anything 🥴 the hell goin on

    Reply
  • September 26, 2019 at 8:43 am
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    Such good-lookers.

    Reply
  • September 26, 2019 at 9:22 am
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    Are you a mouse bro? Use your friggin voice box! Haha

    Reply
  • September 26, 2019 at 10:39 am
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    Damn I had to activate the subtitles to understand what he's saying 🤦‍♀️

    Reply
  • September 26, 2019 at 11:13 am
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    Too much feminine energy, from him. No wonder why she wanted to have an open relationship. Anytime a woman suggest she wants an "open relationship" she is already cheating. Me looks too soft to me.

    Reply
  • September 26, 2019 at 12:13 pm
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    shz so fineeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

    Reply
  • September 26, 2019 at 12:24 pm
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    5:06 don't let people invalid your truth.

    Reply
  • September 26, 2019 at 12:28 pm
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    Polyamory does not work. News flash humans are possessive. It's a vital characteristic of not only humans but many animals.

    Reply
  • September 26, 2019 at 12:59 pm
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    Mans skin oily asfuck

    Reply
  • September 26, 2019 at 1:37 pm
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    She’s looks adorable when she smiles

    Reply
  • September 26, 2019 at 1:53 pm
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    This one is a little confusing….

    Reply
  • September 26, 2019 at 2:01 pm
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    Piwayseven

    Reply
  • September 26, 2019 at 2:02 pm
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    ? Why is he so shinny

    Reply
  • September 26, 2019 at 2:06 pm
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    Am i the only one who's confused ?? I couldn't understand a thing.

    Reply
  • September 26, 2019 at 2:20 pm
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    Couldn't they powder his face?

    Reply
  • September 26, 2019 at 2:40 pm
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    He is so blah and having to watching him and listen to him mumbling is sooooo annoying.

    Reply
  • September 26, 2019 at 3:39 pm
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    saw the name Raheem and knew he was Jamaican

    Reply
  • September 26, 2019 at 4:05 pm
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    https://youtu.be/DaR1XK6vevg guys check out my latest eyebrow tutorial and subscribe 🌹❤️🔥

    Reply
  • September 26, 2019 at 4:18 pm
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    They only speaking for themselves because I don't get what they are talking about

    Reply
  • September 26, 2019 at 5:39 pm
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    I can’t agree with these gorgeous comments 🤷🏽‍♂️

    Reply
  • September 26, 2019 at 6:20 pm
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    Anyone else found it difficult to hear him clearly?

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  • September 26, 2019 at 8:51 pm
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    How did he not know that she's gay

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  • September 26, 2019 at 10:44 pm
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    I know it's hard to hear him. But what he did was brave. This was something that she talked about and he wasn't afraid to let her explore who she is. That's trust on a different level. Sometimes I feel monogamy is so laced in this psuedo feeling of insecurity. We get jealous when another sparks our partners interest. Most monogamous couples aren't monogamous simply bc they are happy and content. Most just dont want someone else who will make them feel less than.

    Reply
  • September 26, 2019 at 10:54 pm
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    They are great communicators

    Reply
  • September 26, 2019 at 11:18 pm
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    They are so bare with each other . I am obsessed plus they are both so gorge

    Reply
  • September 27, 2019 at 12:34 am
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    This conversation was only for the people whom are willing to learn or who already talk on a deep & meaningful level. Many speak but say absolutely nothing of substance and stop being rude about the volume of his voice, if he was yelling the ones complaining would have called him out differently, but since he's composed and has a soft speaker it's another thing isn't it?! Buncho winos, check your phones and hearing..both might be slightly impaired.

    Reply
  • September 27, 2019 at 5:30 am
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    I hear him just fine and this episode was a great one! 🤷🏾‍♀️

    Reply

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