For many men, Don Draper is the epitome of confidence. You’re happy with your agency. You’re not happy with anything You don’t want most of it you want all of it, and I won’t stop until you get all of it But what most people don’t realize is that confidence actually comes in two flavors? There’s the external confidence that you project which can make closing deals making friends or seducing happen more naturally But there’s also the internal confidence you feel how comfortable you are in any given situation so in this video we’re gonna be analyzing what Don can teach us about both levels of confidence and how mastering each level can take you from being nervous to completely confident in any Situation now at the most basic level we have the way that Don carries himself. Obviously. He’s a good-looking guy He’s got nice suits, but it’s his relaxed body language. That is the most interesting for instance He almost always sits asymmetrically and spreads himself out comfortably will actually cause you to relax if you do this yourself Don also moves freely around most environments which signals a sense of comfort and ownership wherever he is he acts like the boss everywhere Now, you don’t need to take it this far but simply having your feet at least shoulder width apart when you’re standing or leaning with your arm draped over a chair in a way that doesn’t prevent someone else from sitting there goes a long way towards projecting confidence Additionally, you’ll see Don subconsciously signal that others need to work for his attention He leans back in his chair Even when he’s in a position where you’d think he’d want to win someone over Like with clients this flips the dynamic and makes them work harder to win him over Not bad in the winter. It’s quite a shock coming back. Well put but That could be any vacation This was very very different Don creates a similar effect with his eye contact in the beginning of many interactions He’s aloof making limited eye contact almost disinterested in what is being said. I’m going to ply me with drinks and convince me What a terrible mistake I’m making It was quite a drink. If you’re sitting opposite him. This will make you want to try to win his attention It feels good to get the person who isn’t paying attention to you to do so and when the other person has done that Don Gives his full piercing eye contact on special occasions. Like when he’s making a point what you call love was invented by guys like me Without nylons or nailing a pitch like he does on this campaign for lipstick. She wants to tell the world. He’s mine He belongs to me. Not you She marks her man with her lips. Or seducing you like he does all the time in the show My name is Don The biggest thing to take into your own life from Don’s Variable eye contact is not that you need to ignore people to be cool But that when you are making your key points that you want paid attention to hone in those narrow piercing eyes keep people Captivated and they show confidence in the words that you’re speaking while emphasizing your most important points Now you can do everything that you’ve talked about up until now fairly easily but a much more Difficult element of body language to master is what you don’t do and he pay attention to dawn you’ll notice that he doesn’t Fidget and that takes us to the next deeper layer of confidence, which is non Reactivity, this is something we actually talked about in our video with James Bond This is much harder to fake because our emotions often get the best of us in these high-stress situations. And this is one area We’re lacking and competence can really be a detriment you overreact to your own mistakes and end up making things worse but when you can remain Nonreactive, it shows that you’re not pressured by what’s happening around you and that makes you come across as more powerful for instance Watch out Don reacts when two men hit on his wife in Rome and how he calmly role plays that he doesn’t even know her Contrast that with their insecure overreactions to him. May I join you? Yankee, go home *Speaks Italian* Are they making fun of me? A little bit. I’m only in Rome for one night the sense of comfort and power that Donne conveyed simply by not reacting is surely part of what drew Betty to him in the first place this same level of low reactivity is especially Important if you’re a leader in times of crisis now feeling your feelings is important But left unchecked they can get in the way of pulling together to get out of a serious issue Keeping emotional expression in check actually inspires resolve in others in addition Simply remaining silent when things are going wrong buys you valuable time to think without exposing you as someone who is totally confused and lost Don is so good under pressure not because he’s just fast on his feet. That’s actually an illusion It’s because he slows down enough to think calmly and react in the best way possible Watch how he responds when a client doesn’t like his pitch I’m gonna have to speed it up a bit because he gives himself a full 20 seconds to think Gentlemen before you leave. Can I just say something? As a general rule? We are more demanding of fast responses from ourselves than we are from others people give themselves Only 30% as much time to respond as they would give someone else which is why so many of us find it hard to pause When doing a public speech even though we know it’s a powerful tool So when you are in a stressful situation and it feels like you need to do something right now Pause you’re almost always better served from a presentation Perspective and a decision-making perspective to take a deep breath and slow down Otherwise, you’re going to look frantic and out of control. Now, the next sign of a more deeply internalized confidence is not trying to convince other people and that might sound odd because when you think of Don Draper you might think of the salesmen who is all about persuasion but being persuasive generally is very very different from trying to convince any specific person so paradoxically Don makes many of his sales by not Badgering clients and instead framing himself as an equal partner in a negotiation. He’s screening them as much as they are screening him Call it a day Gentlemen, thank you for your time Is that all? You’re a non-believer Why should we waste time on Kabuki? Sit down? No Not until I know I’m not wasting my time Now this is effective because one of the ways that we determine if we want to associate with Anyone is by how much they seem to want and need us we of course like people who are interested in us But not too much Much better is to share your interest whether it’s with a date or client but to walk away if it’s not reciprocated Now one caveat here is that if you walk away in an emotional huff You’re not signaling confidence or power. You’re signaling petulance And that makes other people just glad to be rid of you now Don is guilty of this from time to time when people don’t like his ads Hope you enjoy looking in the window. Give me a minute Out get out. Don, excuse me? Get your things and get out of my office now Resist the urge to yell or to tell a date or a client how sorry that they’re gonna be for blowing the opportunity and Instead step into the mindset that says well looks like we’re not a match. I wish you the best Now this finally takes us to the deepest layer of confidence. And that is the belief that no matter what you will be Okay, when you’ve internalized this confidence comes easy now it all sounds nice But how you develop this belief so that you feel it in any situation One of the fastest ways to build any belief is to live it So you show yourself that you’re gonna be okay By doing exactly the things that you think you wouldn’t be okay if you did and you don’t have to jump off of buildings in this case I mean social things so this is what Don does in the final seasons and I’m gonna have to quickly catch you up on the plot of madmen for The next clips to make sense for those of you who don’t know Don’s real name is Dick Whitman He stole his lieutenants identity when he was in the Korean War in order to escape his old life and get out of the war and he’s lived with that fake name and even somewhat of a fake persona ever since he displays the outer veneer of Stoicism and confidence while behind closed doors his family and even sometimes his career and emotions are Crumbling but in the final seasons of Mad Men Don tells the truth at great personal cost First he tells Hershey’s his client the truth about his orphaned childhood, which loses him the account and gets himself fired I was an orphan I grew up in Pennsylvania In a whorehouse Do you want to advertise that? If I had my way you would never advertise Later he confesses his moral failings to Peggy while at a retreat in California I broke all my vows Scandalized my child Took another man’s name and And finally after he’s been honest out loud He has the courage to reveal the emotions that made him abandon his old life and it’s all set into motion Where a man at the retreat confesses to feeling unseen and unlovable. I had a dream I was on a on a shelf in the refrigerator someone closes the door and the light goes off and I know everybody’s out there eating and then They open the door and you see them smiling and they’re happy to see you But maybe they don’t look right at you and maybe they don’t pick you then the door closes again. The light goes off Don’s sitting there shell-shocked from his conversation with Peggy but as he listens he goes from completely ignoring him to totally understanding where he’s coming from despite the validation from business success and affairs with many beautiful women Don still feels Unlovable and when he finally recognized that same feeling of being unseen and unlovable, he can authentically connect with his man *Crying* This is the deepest layer of confidence It’s not about always looking cool or Always saying the right thing and it’s not even about getting other people to respond to you in a favorable way It’s living your life at least socially like you will be Okay, no matter what and that means that you can tell the truth. Even if it loses you a client You can tell the truth, even if it makes you feel weak because when you live the truth believing that you’re gonna be Okay, no matter what. You won’t stay feeling weak for long instead You’ll stop feeling like you always need to say the right thing and you’ll stop worrying that someone else might reject you Because you know that you will never reject yourself And when you combine this deep internal confidence with the ability to project external confidence every interaction becomes easier and more fun and you may begin to even look forward to the situations that Previously stressed you out now If you’re interested in the fastest way that I know to build both deep confidence and that external showing confidence I put together a video program to fast-track you to the point Where you feel centered in any social situation So you don’t feel like you’re hesitating or grasping for what to say to make an interaction go amazingly This is our flagship program called charisma University it’s a six-week program and every day you will get a step-by-step action guide to make confidence your default mode of being and it focuses both on the presentation aspect as well as that inner game aspect Which is nice because it takes the guesswork out of everything. You just follow the guide and you get the results So if you want a fast-track to more confidence more charisma You can learn more about the course with the button on the screen or the link in the description We have had thousands of members go through this course and get a ton out of it So I hope that you decide to join if this is an area of your life that you are looking to improve Either way you are okay and you will be okay I hope that you’ve enjoyed this video and I look forward to seeing you in the next one

How To Be Confident In Any Situation

100 thoughts on “How To Be Confident In Any Situation

  • September 24, 2019 at 3:47 am
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    I went to check out that course, & was think a fair price would be $40 – $60 bucks, NOPE LOL IT'S $500. Yeah I just went on instagram & searched "course reseller" & it's being sold for $15 – 40 depending on who you talk to. If you ever need a course find course resellers on Instagram or check out a site called GetWSodo it costs $30 & they so many courses. It's like netflix you pay & get unlimited access to their torrents.

    I'll only buy the original course if the materials actually helped me to support the creators. I've bought so many of Tai Lopez's courses, there is SOOO much value packed in there! Though I've bought a few other legit courses too though I ALWAYS get pirated or resold copies before getting an original. The same is true of games & software, I'll play games for free & buy them if I liked the game. I bought every Tomb Raider game since they were so good, also I bought both watch dogs. Though there are so many other games I've played & never bought because they didn't stand out as good or were packed with microtransactions. Depending on the game there is a good chance of being exploits out there you can use to autofarm or outright hack you money to insane amounts.

    The only thing I almost never pay for is movies, even if I really like them. I would never spend money on a movie, though I would watch it if its free. I don't see the value in something like that, I already view movies as wastes of time, so I need to be in the right mood to be willing to waste time. Though I say rarely because sometimes there is something I love, the batman trilogy I bought the first & second. Those movies were so good, amazing! Third with bane was good but I didn't like it nearly as much as I liked the first 2.

    You should all follow this strategy of not paying for stuff unless it's good. It's voting with your dollars & will force people to make content that's actually good or otherwise suffer financially. Unlike physical goods, you cannot return an item most the time if it's bad. Yeah free trials exist in some cases though they can be more work then it's worth many times.

    Reply
  • September 24, 2019 at 3:01 pm
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    Incredibly helpful! That no fidgetting is no joke though – when the hair gets in the eyes it's over

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  • September 24, 2019 at 5:01 pm
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    Is analysing a fictional character really the best example to give?

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  • September 25, 2019 at 2:10 pm
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    Ari Gold needs to be featured next! Love the video

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  • September 25, 2019 at 4:43 pm
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    Don kind of feels like a jerk, like a really big jerk.
    I don't know if that's the type of person any one would want to become.

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  • September 25, 2019 at 6:24 pm
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    what i get from this is confidence comes with age so kids just grow up and realize that age is what matters

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  • September 25, 2019 at 9:44 pm
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    i first thought the thumbnail depicts saul goodman form breaking bad 😉

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  • September 25, 2019 at 11:37 pm
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    Don Draper is amazing. He is also fictional.

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  • September 26, 2019 at 12:42 am
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    Hello,

    I came across one of your videos and ended up watching around 10 I’m subscribed and will be watching continually.

    I don’t want to sound like I’m guilt tripping or black mailing you but I’d love too have a conversation with you too see if we are as alike as I think.

    I’ve always been an outgoing person but due to certain circumstances feel I’ve lost myself somewhat and respond with anger instead of thinking logically and responding as I used too.

    I think a conversation with you for 5/10 minutes would help me a great deal and if you could find the time I would be very great full. I understand you have over 3 million subscribers so you must get this a lot.

    I would use your statement about ending an email in a giving or asking for a favour in this comment but I’m pretty sure we both know which this is 😂

    Even if you read this thank you!

    King regards

    Liam

    Reply
  • September 26, 2019 at 6:17 am
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    He should have been Batman, instead of Ben Afleck!

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  • September 26, 2019 at 10:33 am
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    Another thing – age –

    The older you get the more you understand yourself and the more you understand life.

    Don't underestimate the value of age.

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  • September 26, 2019 at 2:44 pm
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    Somewhat informative yet after all its a show……not real life….seeing actors cower to his confidence doesn't make it true in real life

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  • September 26, 2019 at 4:06 pm
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    Confidence and courage are closely related. Techniques and behaviors that demonstrate that originate from believing in yourself (that is, your ability to be OK, like the video says). But having the courage to both face yourself and face the challenges that will enable that belief is where it all starts.

    Reply
  • September 26, 2019 at 10:12 pm
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    The most captivating video title, and the thumbnail. Bravo on that Charisma.

    Reply
  • September 27, 2019 at 1:39 am
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    Use your testosterone be a man

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  • September 27, 2019 at 7:26 am
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    Sorry but anybody that did not start with having zero confidence, does not, and in fact, cannot teach others to be confident. Confidence is the DIRECT result of positive reinforcement and LOT of it. Full. Stop. May be compliments on a great smile, praised for having good musical or sartorial tastes. People that we call "naturally confident" got there because they naturally had these attractive gifts and basically have had been receiving positive reinforcements from birth. The rest of us, the unconfident ones, need to actually work at some of these things, in order to receive compliements and feedback that we're good at those things, in order to finally excude confidence.
    Confidence is not BE'd, as much as those mentioned above that have never had to work for it like to tell you.

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  • September 27, 2019 at 8:41 am
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    Don Draper? I am pretty confident I never heard of him….

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  • September 27, 2019 at 2:21 pm
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    take phenibut

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  • September 27, 2019 at 3:29 pm
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    Thank for letting me know why the man is mad

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  • September 27, 2019 at 7:58 pm
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    I actually really enjoyed this and realized I do some of these naturally. Great vid!

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  • September 28, 2019 at 1:10 am
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    well done

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  • September 28, 2019 at 1:17 am
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    “like him or hate him, he’s speakin straight facts😔”

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  • September 28, 2019 at 6:32 am
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    yeh not 2 b 2 negative some people hv no fam no real motivion but really inrestn stuff. ..

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  • September 28, 2019 at 7:32 am
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    dude its just a movie, no one doest like that irl

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  • September 28, 2019 at 11:18 am
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    wow you grew!

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  • September 28, 2019 at 12:57 pm
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    Dont make me like the serries for 8 min, and then staight spoil it at the end

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  • September 28, 2019 at 2:14 pm
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    This channel is a treasure.

    Reply
  • September 28, 2019 at 3:33 pm
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    Can you do one of these following Peggy's journey and the changes she makes? I love how she evolves from a timid girl at the beginning of the show to a woman who is sure of herself by the end!

    Reply
  • September 28, 2019 at 6:32 pm
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    Charisma on command should do a video on thomas shelby. Cillian murphy

    Reply
  • September 28, 2019 at 9:54 pm
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    I'm confident I don't have confidence

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  • September 29, 2019 at 1:44 am
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    I'm here because of Don Drapper

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  • September 29, 2019 at 3:45 am
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    "Keeping emotional expression in check actually inspires resolves in others" – this is actual gold.

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  • September 29, 2019 at 4:08 am
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    Best video i watched

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  • September 29, 2019 at 5:39 am
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    How to be confident.. Always put face like you were having a stick up your arse like draper

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  • September 29, 2019 at 6:46 am
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    How to feel confident at anytime in regular life? Why would you feel anxious? Nobody holds any real power over you unless they have guns of course

    Reply
  • September 29, 2019 at 7:14 am
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    Real life is not acting

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  • September 29, 2019 at 11:50 am
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    making real life inferences from fictional characters.

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  • September 29, 2019 at 1:42 pm
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    OLDY ZDES'?

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  • September 29, 2019 at 5:10 pm
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    Usually to feel confident, I just cut my thinking off so I don't panic or worry about stuff

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  • September 29, 2019 at 10:28 pm
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    I’m confident and know how to handle myself in most situations, but I suffer from low self esteem. Any tips?

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  • September 30, 2019 at 2:10 am
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    This is so deep. Very nice vid!

    Reply
  • September 30, 2019 at 2:43 am
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    Damn I need to watch this show even thought I took some by my own responsability spoilers haha

    Reply
  • September 30, 2019 at 5:31 am
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    Are you sure you think it’s reasonable and responsible to spread information as fact when in reality it is highly subjective, and doesn’t meet the definition of hard science by any stretch of the imagination?

    Reply
  • September 30, 2019 at 11:42 am
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    This is a great video.

    Reply
  • September 30, 2019 at 4:51 pm
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    Hi there, the video is very nice. Can I get the name of this movie ?

    Reply
  • September 30, 2019 at 5:12 pm
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    Du stinkst nach Illuminatenwixxe. Nein, Danke.

    Reply
  • September 30, 2019 at 7:27 pm
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    is this video good for incels?

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  • September 30, 2019 at 9:38 pm
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    There wasn't a spoiler headsup :/..

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  • October 1, 2019 at 12:14 am
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    seriously? who makes those crappy, laughable, probably useless videos?

    Reply
  • October 1, 2019 at 1:25 am
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    He literally acts like Tom Ellis on LUCIFER.

    Or the other way around

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  • October 1, 2019 at 2:33 am
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    thanks for spoiling a central plotline in madmen

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  • October 1, 2019 at 2:46 am
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    TIL Ive naturally been Don Draper lol. I need to watch this show.

    Reply
  • October 1, 2019 at 9:25 am
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    I don't know if you can tell the difference, but you're reviewing acting. Everyone knows how exaggerated acting is. You're giving tips that will make you look like a fool in public. Review actual real-life footage and real-life situations.

    Reply
  • October 1, 2019 at 9:47 am
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    Do a Roger Sterling one

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  • October 1, 2019 at 6:30 pm
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    Movie name please?

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  • October 1, 2019 at 9:52 pm
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    movie name ?

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  • October 2, 2019 at 7:01 am
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    GREAT Video 👍🙂♥️

    Reply
  • October 2, 2019 at 3:43 pm
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    What’s the name of the show?

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  • October 2, 2019 at 8:55 pm
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    It would seem that Don Draper lacks internal confidence.

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  • October 3, 2019 at 12:01 am
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    A SPOILER ALERT WOULD HAVE BEEN NICE for those who have never seen Mad Men.

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  • October 3, 2019 at 5:01 am
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    thanks for the spoiler alert 😒

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  • October 3, 2019 at 8:32 am
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    yikes, that group scene is beyond pathetic.

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  • October 3, 2019 at 10:37 am
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    Now I wanna watch the serie 🤦‍♂️

    Reply
  • October 3, 2019 at 11:35 am
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    inspires to motivate

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  • October 3, 2019 at 3:51 pm
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    You can't teach these skills on a video. Christ people are gullible.

    Reply
  • October 3, 2019 at 7:16 pm
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    Why does one need a confidence to close deals, make friends or seduce? Sounds sinister – almost Western – to my ears. Work, instead, on internal purity – and all will be well. If not, well, you'll be facing the music that Nature throws at you. So all the very best.

    Reply
  • October 3, 2019 at 8:12 pm
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    Put on leave not fired.

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  • October 3, 2019 at 8:24 pm
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    just bee urself

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  • October 3, 2019 at 8:27 pm
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    Step 1: Be John Hamm

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  • October 3, 2019 at 9:53 pm
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    I’m at a pretty low point at the moment and this video really helped me out. Just want to say thank you

    Reply
  • October 4, 2019 at 1:03 am
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    Hey Morons… Don is a fictional character. Get a life.

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  • October 4, 2019 at 3:45 am
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    10:10 the dudes right eye is a line like a reptilian

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  • October 4, 2019 at 4:25 am
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    The truth shall set you free.

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  • October 4, 2019 at 5:27 am
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    Equal partners//Relaxed body language//be non-reactive//don't try to convince other people//believe that you will be ok//

    Reply
  • October 4, 2019 at 12:05 pm
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    So you are evaluating an actor?

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  • October 4, 2019 at 3:58 pm
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    What if you are pausing to think but you are thinking about everything else other than the conversation you are having? This is quite common I believe.

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  • October 4, 2019 at 4:11 pm
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    Doesn't hurt that Jon Hamm is just gorgeous and sexy as hell…just sayin 😉 But this is very interesting stuff.

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  • October 4, 2019 at 4:22 pm
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    ok…………. i want a pony named charisma and i want it NOW!

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  • October 4, 2019 at 10:06 pm
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    Confidence lesson from actor and scenario ,and they do the same scene until is best,in real life is different

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  • October 4, 2019 at 11:19 pm
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    Step 1 be a Special Operations guy 2 go to war 3 survive then thrive. 4 everything else is easy enough

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  • October 5, 2019 at 1:05 am
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    He's name's John Draper?

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  • October 5, 2019 at 4:19 am
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    quit youtube

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  • October 5, 2019 at 4:39 am
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    Uhm, nope. Here is the greatest confidence builder of all time. You are going to die. Everyone around you is going to die. Nothing, but nothing you can do will change that. Nothing you encounter will be worse than that reality. So, do your best, fail at your worst, it does not matter. Decide what you want and go for it.

    Reply
  • October 5, 2019 at 9:59 am
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    How To Be Confident – 30% of the time – In Any Situation

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  • October 5, 2019 at 12:10 pm
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    So this is a video about how to write a character that looks confident and then make sure it all works by writing all the other characters too? I really wish I could write all the characters in my life, my life would be great and every one would think I was really interesting, even compelling and a lot prettier.

    Reply
  • October 5, 2019 at 12:33 pm
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    Yanks. Whatcha gonna do? Bunch of fakers and con artists. No wonder you guys have no universal health care and all those guns.

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  • October 5, 2019 at 12:55 pm
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    this is so wrong

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  • October 5, 2019 at 11:55 pm
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    How to be confident, constantly compare yourself to fictional characters who you feel are more masculine than u

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  • October 6, 2019 at 1:09 am
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    Do one similar to this on tommy shelby.

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  • October 6, 2019 at 2:00 am
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    Be Non-Convincing

    Judge: “You have been found guilty of 1st degree murder and facing life in prison is there anything you have to say before sentencing?”

    Draper: “No, not until I know you’re not wasting my time.”

    Reply
  • October 6, 2019 at 6:30 am
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    Well, it’s pretty hard when you’re ugly and have acne problems

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  • October 6, 2019 at 1:29 pm
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    Is the first point relevant for females as well

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  • October 6, 2019 at 3:30 pm
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    your on mic presents would be so much better if you were more aware of your plosives.

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  • October 6, 2019 at 5:10 pm
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    💤💤

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  • October 6, 2019 at 8:48 pm
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    this isn't real though

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  • October 6, 2019 at 11:26 pm
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    Low reactivity is called Stoicism – which is a very old philosophy that still rings true today

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  • October 7, 2019 at 1:10 am
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    Beast

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  • October 7, 2019 at 3:43 am
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    How about convincing family to use their wealth, instead of letting it rot in the banks?

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  • October 7, 2019 at 7:59 am
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    given the chance, I'd prefer to be Hank Moody. Don Draper is too stiff.

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  • October 7, 2019 at 9:08 am
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    it was all a plug.

    Reply

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