-♫ Do not read, do not read ♫ ♫ Do not read these books,
these books ♫ -Now, before we start,
I want you all to know that every book that I´m about
to show you is 100% real. These are actual books. You can find them on Amazon. You can check them out
at your local library. They are real. All right, let´s see
what´s on my “Do not read” list. The first book
is a murder mystery. They´re perfect for the beach.
-Love them. -Yeah, this one´s called
“The Penguin Who Knew Too Much.” [ Laughter ] We´re in good hands,
because it´s from Donna Andrews, the award-winning author
of “No Nest for the Wicket.” -Oh.
[ Laughter ] -Best part of this is the audiobook
is read by Morgan Freeman. -Really?
-Yeah, listen. -No matter how big
a guy might be, Nicky would take him on. You beat Nicky with fists,
he comes back with a bat. You beat him with a knife, he comes back with a flipper
and bitch-slaps your head. -All right. I don´t know
about the audiobook. It might be good.
I don´t know. This next one might be
too exciting for you guys. All right, but let´s see.
Here we go. It is “Mathematics for
Engineers,” by Dull. [ Laughter ] Dull is…
[ Cheers and applause ] Let´s look at the front.
Ready for the front cover? Boo-yah! ♫♫ I guess you can
judge a book by its cover. [ Laughter ] [ Rim shot ] Next up is an exercise book.
-Oh, love exercise books. -Yeah, this one is called
“Bathroom Yoga.” [ Laughter ] And it´s for those
who lack the time or space to do yoga anywhere else,
by Jerri Lincoln. There´s Jerri
doing some yoga on a toilet. At least,
I hope that´s what she´s doing. Let´s check out the back here. Oh, look,
there´s a little mascot. It´s a used toilet-paper roll,
saying, “Yoga, yoga, yoga.” [ Laughter ] I´m sure this will
sweep the nation here. I-I started reading this,
and then I got wiped out. -Really?
[ Laughter ] I tried to do yoga
on the toilet. I was pooped.
Too pooped. -This got up to number two
on the best seller´s list. -Did it really?
[ Laughter ] Who publishes it?
-What´s that? -Who publishes that book?
-Uh… [ Laughter ] Oh, this is published by, uh… [ Laughter ] Wait, wait.
Ask me again. -Okay. Who publishes that book? -Oh, this is published
by Little Brown. [ Laughter and applause ] You ever heard of that?
-Yeah. You know, I think it was
the European division. [ Laughter ] Of Little Brown. -Is that —
No, no, that tanked years ago. -Oh, did it, really?
[ Laughter ] -Guys, next up is a book for
all you collectors out there. Yeah.
-Oh. -This is called “Bottle
Collecting in New England,” by John Adams. It doesn´t seem like
a fun hobby, but who knows? Maybe I´m wrong. Let´s look
at the dedication here. It says, “A deepest thanks
to my wife Peggy and my two boys who had to put up with constant
turmoil during the research, photographing, and editing
that went into this book and to all three
for their enthusiasm. [ Laughter ] I don´t think
any of them look that excited. [ Laughter and applause ] Look at this kid over here. [ Laughter ] How excited does he look? -Too much turmoil. -Turmoil finding bottles. This next is a craft book.
-Ooh. -I love those.
Yeah. This one is called
“Return of the Nose Masks.” [ Light laughter ] Apparently, they´re back. I didn´t even know
they were here. But they´re back.
-They´re back. -It says right here —
Look in the corner. It´s for birthdays, the office,
dinner parties, Halloween, even a blind date. [ Light laughter ] “Hey, nice to meet you. I´m Todd, and, uh…
I´m an entrepreneur. [ Laughter ] As you can see,
I´m a totally normal guy. Wait. Why are you leaving?
Why are you leaving? I haven´t even — I haven´t even shown you
all my nose masks!” You´d be bananas to —
[ Laughter ] Nose masks. We´re down to our last one here.
-Aww. -This is a children´s book.
I know. I´m sorry.
All good things… It´s a children´s book. This is called
“Mike and the Magic Cookies.” Nothing weird about it. An old hippie
giving a kid a magic cookie. That´s definitely something
I want to read to my kids. There you go. That´s this edition of my
“Do not read” list. If you have a book that you
think should be on our next “Do not read” list,
I want to see it. Send your titles to our blog
at [email protected]

Do Not Read: The Penguin Who Knew Too Much, Bathroom Yoga
Tagged on:                                                                                                                                                 

100 thoughts on “Do Not Read: The Penguin Who Knew Too Much, Bathroom Yoga

  • August 17, 2017 at 9:07 am
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    πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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  • August 17, 2017 at 9:08 am
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    Turds

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  • August 17, 2017 at 9:09 am
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    That moment when you skip to the funny parts but there still isn't any…

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  • August 17, 2017 at 9:11 am
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    Jimmy stalling on the poop joke just shows he's not a real comedian. Any true performer would have a witty response at the ready

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  • August 17, 2017 at 9:21 am
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    πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ these is really ridiculous lol

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  • August 17, 2017 at 9:21 am
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    Bathroom Yoga. That may be a creative way to cure constipation.

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  • August 17, 2017 at 9:25 am
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    I wont that last one πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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  • August 17, 2017 at 9:30 am
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    How was that first book not published b Penguin Books?

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  • August 17, 2017 at 9:40 am
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    1:17

    "Ready for the front cover?"

    shows the back cover

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  • August 17, 2017 at 9:43 am
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    Please subscribe to the channel for support please

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  • August 17, 2017 at 9:58 am
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    iΒ΄m going to buy nose masks for sure.

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  • August 17, 2017 at 10:16 am
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    Either that 2nd book is a Manga book or Jimmy doesn't know the from of a book from the back

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  • August 17, 2017 at 10:20 am
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    That was the back of the book

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  • August 17, 2017 at 10:40 am
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    Waiting for the day Jimmy is going to interview ordinary people….like me πŸ˜€ Gosh love him πŸ˜€

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  • August 17, 2017 at 10:52 am
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    1 like = 1 emoji Penguin 🐧

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  • August 17, 2017 at 11:04 am
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    no joke but i need that yoga bathroom book

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  • August 17, 2017 at 11:33 am
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    There is a french book by francois saintonge called marylin amd adolf, which is a utopian novel which plays in 2060. Cloning has been invented by then and the main character wins a clone of adolf hitler in the lottery, but this clone is a really gentle and nice
    guy. Later he gets another clone, this one of marylin monroe, but it seems to be a cheap rip off from asia.

    Reply
  • August 17, 2017 at 12:01 pm
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    He turned the maths book to the back not the front

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  • August 17, 2017 at 12:21 pm
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    Casino ref, blamo!

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  • August 17, 2017 at 12:22 pm
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    Thats the crappiest musical intro ive ever heard….sorry roots but it sucks.

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  • August 17, 2017 at 12:31 pm
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    That was the back cover Jimmy, we read from left to right in the west.

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  • August 17, 2017 at 1:06 pm
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    bathroom yoga is actually kinda briliant

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  • August 17, 2017 at 1:17 pm
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    Anything will sound awesome if the voice behind it is Morgan Freeman

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  • August 17, 2017 at 1:18 pm
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    My name is Todd, and I am an entrepreneur… What are the odds?? What are the odds??

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  • August 17, 2017 at 1:21 pm
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    "I didn't even know they were here"
    LOL😁😁😁

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  • August 17, 2017 at 1:25 pm
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    I love these segments because I actually end up ordering some of these to use as gag gifts. πŸ˜‚

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  • August 17, 2017 at 1:58 pm
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    that's the back cover

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  • August 17, 2017 at 2:07 pm
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    kinda sounds like morgan freeman

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  • August 17, 2017 at 2:32 pm
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    Ms. Donna Andrews has a lot more brilliantly named book titles besides The Penguin Who Knew too Much: Lord of the Wings, The Nightingale Before Christmas, How the Finch Stole Christmas, Gone Gull… And judging from Amazon scores, people love the contents, too!

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  • August 17, 2017 at 3:04 pm
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    The nose mask just gives me ideas for live action guess who

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  • August 17, 2017 at 3:39 pm
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    Once I found out Morgan Freeman read the audio book I couldn't help but go all in

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  • August 17, 2017 at 3:54 pm
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    I would read that Yoga toilet book while taking the Browns to the Superbowl

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  • August 17, 2017 at 3:57 pm
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    Nose masks are great for speed dating and job interviews

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  • August 17, 2017 at 3:59 pm
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    That last one needs to be in the banned bin.

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  • August 17, 2017 at 4:14 pm
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    1:21 that's the back cover jimmy

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  • August 17, 2017 at 4:30 pm
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    i read the title as "the penguin who knew too much bathroom yoga"

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  • August 17, 2017 at 5:09 pm
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    "Award-winning"? WHAT? Which one? When, even?

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  • August 17, 2017 at 5:21 pm
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    I remember reading "Mike and the magic cookies" in grade school! LOL!

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  • August 17, 2017 at 5:25 pm
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    These are fantastic. I'll really have to check out that bathroom yoga book πŸ˜‚

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  • August 17, 2017 at 5:29 pm
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    And that last book, the old man on the cover had only ONE friggin' tooth, dude! C'mon!

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  • August 17, 2017 at 6:13 pm
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    I don't read

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  • August 17, 2017 at 6:52 pm
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    Toilet yoga by TP Rollin

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  • August 17, 2017 at 8:04 pm
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    someone please tell me what tyreke is saying at 4:40. So what?

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  • August 17, 2017 at 9:03 pm
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    Mike and the Magic Cookies was one of my favorite books growing up! lol

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  • August 17, 2017 at 10:08 pm
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    Jimmy's finger looks extremely painful. But glad he recovered

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  • August 17, 2017 at 11:43 pm
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    Who else loves the way Jimmy says "Amazon"?

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  • August 18, 2017 at 1:16 am
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    There was a book I saw at my library and it was called how to raise a squirrel

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  • August 18, 2017 at 2:58 am
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    I'm glad she gets the publicity, but just so you know, Donna Andrews writes hysterically funny books. Always a mystery, always great fun. DO READ !!!!

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  • August 18, 2017 at 3:11 am
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    Was that Josh Robert Thompson doing the voice of Morgan Freeman?

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  • August 18, 2017 at 3:31 am
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    Anyone else notice that Jerri Lincoln was wearing Heelys on the cover of bathroom yoga?

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  • August 18, 2017 at 4:24 am
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    I enjoy most of these segments but would like to say that you need to re-think "The Penguin that Knew Too Much" . If you like quirky mysteries then you'll like the series. My family and I like them a lot. (Beth's mom)

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  • August 18, 2017 at 4:47 am
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    The penguin who new too much is actually a very good book. I have all of Donna Andrews books.

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  • August 18, 2017 at 5:03 am
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    I love tonight show puns

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  • August 18, 2017 at 5:04 am
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    1 like = 1 magic cookie πŸͺ

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  • August 18, 2017 at 8:11 am
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    The yoga person is wherein Heelys

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  • August 18, 2017 at 10:08 am
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    Already, we can see an empty front cover, but this shows how good your IQ is Jimmy. 1:16
    "Ready for the back Cover!" dummy

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  • August 18, 2017 at 5:05 pm
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    are these actual books?

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  • August 19, 2017 at 12:00 am
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    I hope that Morgan Freeman voice was the same voice from the battleship game Ear Biscuit. Mythical Beasts!

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  • August 19, 2017 at 12:07 am
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    Mathematics for engineers is very dull.

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  • August 19, 2017 at 12:07 am
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    Doing yoga while taking a dump.

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  • August 19, 2017 at 12:08 am
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    Yoda doing yoga while eating yogurt.

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  • August 19, 2017 at 12:10 am
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    That old guy on the last one looks creepy.

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  • August 20, 2017 at 12:17 am
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    Mathematics for engineers. .. Ben Wyatts favorite book.

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  • August 20, 2017 at 5:29 am
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    loving Jimmy's new hair style so much! the fluffier the better πŸ˜ŠπŸ˜ŠπŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ‘ŒπŸ‘Œ

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  • August 20, 2017 at 5:55 am
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    Yoga dude is wearing Heelys.

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  • August 20, 2017 at 12:12 pm
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    Mathematics for engineers by dull is quite fitting actually

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  • August 20, 2017 at 1:53 pm
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    heres a do not read… any sort of religious text

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  • August 20, 2017 at 8:58 pm
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    I like how the bathroom yoga guy is wearing the 90s kid shoes Heely's

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  • August 21, 2017 at 12:38 am
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    I think I'd rather just read your comments. Best part it's free.

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  • August 21, 2017 at 12:59 am
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    I know people in the comment section of YouTube are often dumb as a rock. But everyone can see it's the back cover. Why do you feel the need to point it out?

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  • August 21, 2017 at 3:52 am
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    Is the bathroom yoga guy wearing heelys

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  • August 21, 2017 at 6:45 am
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    The Math book. OMG we were cleaning out my dad's house and I found that exact book in his "collection". ROFL and that was the back cover.

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  • August 21, 2017 at 7:57 am
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    Not very funny.

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  • August 21, 2017 at 12:40 pm
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    I have the children's book that he shows at the end. It has a couple flaws but isn't too bad of a book for a young child.

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  • August 23, 2017 at 2:19 am
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    Thank you!!

    Reply
  • August 27, 2017 at 3:23 am
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    I read the magic cookie book when I was in elementary school!

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  • October 8, 2017 at 5:07 am
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    I LURRRRRRRRRVE THIS

    Reply
  • December 1, 2017 at 3:41 am
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    "return of the mask~ return of the mask~ you know that I be back" <sings in high R&B voice>

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  • December 1, 2017 at 7:42 pm
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    Brilliant

    Reply
  • December 2, 2017 at 1:55 am
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    very,good

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  • December 6, 2017 at 7:42 pm
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    Back cover 😁

    Reply
  • December 7, 2017 at 5:43 am
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    Totally missed the comma in the title of this video… Ended up disappointed because I wanted to read "The Penguin Who Knew Too Much Bathroom Yoga." Oh well. lol πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

    Reply
  • December 7, 2017 at 8:27 pm
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    That was not the front cover Jimmy

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  • December 19, 2017 at 5:07 pm
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    When you’re about to say the punchline and have to start over, that’s the sign to rethink the whole bit.

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  • December 27, 2017 at 10:00 pm
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    Very different from MAGIC MIKE and the COOKIE!!

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  • January 29, 2018 at 6:48 am
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    My apartment is small but I atleast I can find room to do yoga. Wouldn't getting a bigger place be a better idea?

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  • February 18, 2018 at 9:10 pm
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    I think ive actually read Mike and the Magic cookies! Seems vaguely familiar!:)

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  • May 2, 2018 at 3:15 am
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    I LOVED mike and the magic cookies when I was a kid!!

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  • May 20, 2018 at 11:33 pm
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    Bathroom Yoga?! #nowords

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  • June 14, 2018 at 6:39 am
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    I love how hard he was trying to make up a joke about the publishing company lol

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  • June 21, 2018 at 12:50 pm
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    HahahahahahA πŸ˜€πŸ˜πŸ˜‚πŸ‘ŒπŸ‘ŒπŸ’—πŸ‘ŒπŸ‘ŒπŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘ŒπŸ‘Œ

    Reply
  • June 29, 2018 at 9:16 am
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    HA! no one noticed that the 'Bathroom Yoga' lady was wearing heelies??

    Reply
  • October 17, 2018 at 4:52 am
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    Looks like Draco Malfoy's a mudblood after all, and his dad was a bottle collector in New England.

    Reply
  • December 20, 2018 at 10:35 am
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    I just watched the bad reads episodes. My son loves penguins. So i looked up The Penguin That Knew to Much. On Amazon it's 89$!!! What kind of book is this??

    Reply
  • January 2, 2019 at 6:17 pm
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    Bathroom yoga
    Written by: Johnny Crapper 🚽 lol

    Reply
  • March 4, 2019 at 4:05 am
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    Hey what's with the jokes about engineers. The Steam book is how we find properties of water at different temperatures and pressures. And mathematics for engineers is how we know what 2+3 is!

    Reply
  • June 23, 2019 at 9:23 pm
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    🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣

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  • August 23, 2019 at 2:24 am
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    I have mathematics for engineers!

    Reply
  • September 5, 2019 at 1:32 am
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    I actually read Donna Andrews. Her books are awesome! They're quirky murder mysteries.

    Reply

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