I decided to travel from Sydney to the Australian Bush, a dangerous land where only the strong survive. That’s why I hired someone strong to guide me. Kevin.
Good to see you. It’s good to see you. This is a vest that I wore in the ’80s in New York, in the club scene. What do you think of my arms, just before we go any further? Muscles, you could do a bit more work. (laughs) This is a southern tree funnel web. Not just in trees. They live also under rocks. This thing can kill me?
Absolutely. Yes, within 20 minutes. These are under rocks? So what’s the–
Yeah, yeah. Just under rocks. Stop just gesturing around like they’re everywhere. Are they really everywhere? Yes.
Why are we here? Why did we come here? Why didn’t we just meet at the Four Seasons Hotel lobby? We could have had iced teas, and you could have shown me the same (bleep) book. So this thing is under rocks?
Yes. So what’s the number one tip. Don’t look under a rock.
Don’t pick up rocks? Yeah. I have a habit, I’ve had this for a long time, and it’s probably a bad habit of if I see a stone and I want to know what’s underneath, I use my genitalia to flip it. Is that something I shouldn’t be doing here? (laughs) Lucky you. Yeah, it is lucky me. Yes, it is. I don’t even have to move. Could get that rock over there from right here. It’s a long penis joke.
Yes, I got it. Okay, next one is this fellow here. Stinging ants, very dangerous. [Conan] Wait, so you’re saying this ant could kill me? Yes, absolutely. You could come down with full-blown anaphylactic shock. In fact, my wife stood on a nest. She turned white, her lips turned blue, she crapped her pants, and I had to take her to the hospital. Does your wife mind that you put in the part where she craps her pants?
She doesn’t know. Okay, well just leave that part out. (dramatic, upbeat music) What is that? That’s a trapped little spider hole. Sometimes you can get them to come out if you just play around with the web. That’s good. Taunting the deadly spider, trying to get it to come out of its hole. Is there any chance I’m gonna get to use this? I’m sure we can find something to do with that. Let’s see yours. (Kevin groans) Now let’s compare. (Conan laughs mischievously) That’s not a knife. This is a knife. Trust me. That got old in the states 20 years ago. Mm-hmm. (bell dings) Oh wow, this is a wombat berry. Now how many of these do I have to eat to sustain myself, to stay alive? Probably 500.
500? So you thought this vest was a waste of time? Look at that. This is a pocket I used to keep cocaine in. Now, wombat berries. What a turn of events, eh? [Kevin] This is a bunya nut. Wait, these fall out of trees? Yes.
That’s heavy. That’s why I’m looking up. You’ve got to be very careful under the trees, ’cause some of these can weigh up to 10 kilograms. So we could be killed at any moment. Yes.
So let’s get out of here. There’s a wind blowing. I don’t wanna killed by a bunya nut. Remember I was telling you about the tree funnel webs? Well, this one will kill you as well. [Conan] And you’re poking it why? I’m hoping to get it to come out so you can have a look at it. I’m good. You can show me on the internet. You must have a reputation with all the spiders. You’re like a Mormon at the door. Ding dong, ding dong, it’s Kevin with his stick. Maidenhair fern. You can make a cup of tea out of that one. A cup of tea.
A cup of tea. Well, great job, Kevin. We’ve been out here for four hours wandering around, and so far we’ve got three wombat berries and the makings of what looks to be a third of a cup of tea. This is what they give you in coach now on most airlines. Hold it. This branch is in my way. There’s another spider. (audience laughs) I think this is smilax leucophylla. Common name is sarsaparilla tea. You know what? It’s starting to add up. I now have three berries and the makings of two cups of different herbal teas, basically the diet of a 98-year-old woman. We’ve collected a little bit of food. Now it’s time to make a fire. Yeah, fire. Come on, baby! I wanna have some of that herbal tea! Come to mama. Oh. Oh, I see a little smoke! We can throw it into that little bird’s nest. Where do we get that little bird’s nest? Oh yeah. Let me explain to everyone. We shaved my crotch about an hour ago. We have fire.
This is amazing. Cavemen.
So primal. It’s a good feeling. That your first friction fire? That is my first, well. (Kevin laughs)
Yes it is. It’s the first friction fire. This is the bunya nut. These fall from the trees. How many nuts will fill you up? Well. It’s a loaded question. Whenever I hear the cameraman James laughing, I know someone said something that could be construed as dirty if you’re a four year old. I have an endless appetite for nuts. There you go.
Are you happy now, Kevin? (Kevin laughs) I just like to lean my head back and just drop those nuts in. As many as you can. And I’m never satisfied till I have hundreds of nuts in my mouth. Big, meaty nuts. You likin’ this?
Yeah. I bet you are. Doesn’t matter to me. Dip ’em in and dip ’em out. Mm, nuts. [Kevin] This one looks done, just before they turn black. Right here?
All that fleshy part. No comment? Maybe I’ll go out and forage. Hey, mate.
Hey. Look what I found! I found a Jack Daniel’s root.
Wow. Pulled it out of the ground. It’s all about resourcefulness out here. Yes, sir.
Don’t panic. Don’t panic, all right? You get lost, you don’t panic. Wander around, you’ll find little bottles of liquor. Nature provides.

Conan Learns How To Survive In The Australian Bush – CONAN on TBS
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100 thoughts on “Conan Learns How To Survive In The Australian Bush – CONAN on TBS

  • August 4, 2019 at 12:29 am
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    Gotta love Australia 🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺

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  • August 4, 2019 at 8:33 am
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    Maaaaaan Australian people!! Those people don't give a ~~~sh*************t~~~~. It will kill you in 20 seconds, lets go give it a hug!!

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  • August 4, 2019 at 1:04 pm
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    Fun fact: you can see Saltwater crocodiles under the tree shadow in Australia

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  • August 4, 2019 at 3:37 pm
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    Okay, this Conan guy is funny, he needs to have his own show

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  • August 4, 2019 at 3:38 pm
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    I used to think other night shows were funny, not anymore

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  • August 5, 2019 at 5:21 pm
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    Even the trees can kill you?
    Why does this place exist?

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  • August 6, 2019 at 1:35 am
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    The way to attract the trap-door spider is to touch the web gently with a thin stick or piece of grass while tensing your arm up so the muscles vibrate.

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  • August 6, 2019 at 11:45 am
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    On the last segment, 3 spiders crawl up Conans right leg as he drinks the Jack.

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  • August 6, 2019 at 3:13 pm
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    Can we just… Burn Australia?

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  • August 7, 2019 at 2:13 am
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    Am i the only one who is on a Conan O’brien watching spree?

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  • August 7, 2019 at 7:53 pm
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    I died laughing at 4:54 omg 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

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  • August 8, 2019 at 8:38 am
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    Why Englsih captions disappear sometimes help me!!!!

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  • August 8, 2019 at 6:07 pm
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    2:54 Yeah, now he just keeps it in a different pocket.

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  • August 8, 2019 at 6:29 pm
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    wait wtf how are they not upside down

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  • August 9, 2019 at 8:05 am
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    Those funniest home videos laughs get on my nerves!

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  • August 9, 2019 at 10:48 am
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    It's like watching the youtube channel they will kill you.

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  • August 9, 2019 at 4:55 pm
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    1:27 Gave short shrift to his long penis joke.

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  • August 9, 2019 at 8:23 pm
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    Conan is such a self absorbed PU**Y waste of time, ONLY reason I watch is for the hosts he has.

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  • August 10, 2019 at 9:50 am
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    Love Kevin 😂

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  • August 11, 2019 at 5:29 am
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    You can see the half man half kangaroo

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  • August 11, 2019 at 6:28 am
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    I bet Conan does have a big 🍆

    😋

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  • August 11, 2019 at 12:47 pm
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    Diet of a 98 year old woman….🤣 4:26…

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  • August 12, 2019 at 1:55 am
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    Here's a bit of trivia. The first fleet of free settlers and convicts (which Britain used to send to America) consisted of 11 ships that arrived in present day Sydney in 1788. Immediately west of Sydney is a dense forest, part of a region called the Blue Mountains. It's about 85 miles from Sydney Harbour to Mount Blaxland, on the far side of the bush. It took 25 years from settlement for an expedition to set off and mark a passage through the almost impenetrable terrain.

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  • August 12, 2019 at 9:46 am
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    Anyone notice the spiders crawl up Conan’s leg or nah?

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  • August 12, 2019 at 5:15 pm
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    I thought it was conan and call of the wild man. Nah, it's just conan

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  • August 12, 2019 at 7:05 pm
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    Why do Kevin look like Thanos?

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  • August 13, 2019 at 9:21 pm
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    Visit Australia
    "So this can kill me?
    ABSOLUTELY
    Brought to you by the Australian tourism board

    Reply
  • August 14, 2019 at 6:06 am
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    Sorry to say but the species of ant displayed and the name is completely wrong 🙁

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  • August 15, 2019 at 7:21 am
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    3:21
    your poking it why?
    "I'm hoping to get it to come out so you can have a look at it"

    Hahahaha it's just a dangerous spider, who cares

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  • August 15, 2019 at 11:03 am
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    Is that your first friction fire … well

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  • August 15, 2019 at 2:54 pm
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    For a second i thought Kevin was going to pull out a (more) massive knife and ask Conan which toy store he got his from.

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  • August 16, 2019 at 12:27 pm
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    He dressed up as crocodile Dundee lol

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  • August 17, 2019 at 1:40 am
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    props to the Australian guy

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  • August 17, 2019 at 5:34 am
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    The more I watch Conan the more I realize he is a comedic genius

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  • August 17, 2019 at 10:23 am
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    I know someone that shat In a bag

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  • August 17, 2019 at 3:44 pm
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    Maybe I'll go out & forge oh my god comes back with jack Daniels wow "Conan is the best"

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  • August 17, 2019 at 8:37 pm
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    Conan's getting ripped

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  • August 19, 2019 at 1:54 pm
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    Conan weasley

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  • August 20, 2019 at 1:17 am
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    I can't with this guy!! Too funny 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣

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  • August 20, 2019 at 5:52 am
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    10 kilograms is roughly 22 pounds.

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  • August 20, 2019 at 6:14 am
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    Watching from Kenya. I love your comedies Conan.U r the best.

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  • August 20, 2019 at 5:26 pm
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    Bamazon same area as a a thickskinned leather ball is from he drove an Excavator so yes I live where many stars live and still can't catch me

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  • August 20, 2019 at 8:00 pm
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    nature provides

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  • August 20, 2019 at 10:43 pm
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    Is the guy danish pete??? 😂😂😜😜

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  • August 21, 2019 at 2:31 am
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    5:00 when you can’t find your bong

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  • August 21, 2019 at 7:25 am
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    He couldn't make his way out of a wet paper bag if he wanted to 🤣

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  • August 21, 2019 at 3:23 pm
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    Ah the guy was carrying a parang knife, Ray mears style perhaps

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  • August 21, 2019 at 11:15 pm
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    So basically Australia is terrible

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  • August 22, 2019 at 12:17 am
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    Conan is the best hands down!!

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  • August 22, 2019 at 3:55 am
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    Him trying to cut through that branch is the highlight 😂

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  • August 22, 2019 at 2:06 pm
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    Humans discovered making fire hundreds of thousands of years ago, and I still get amazed watching him make one.

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  • August 22, 2019 at 5:18 pm
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    "There is another spider"

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  • August 22, 2019 at 7:17 pm
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    Went to Australia and didn't even drink a beer

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  • August 23, 2019 at 6:42 am
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    If you think you can out dirty joke an Auzzy, you'll be sorely beaten. Cussing and filthy humor is their bread and butter, mate.

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  • August 23, 2019 at 7:29 am
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    funny fuckers. big kevs funny too.

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  • August 23, 2019 at 10:29 pm
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    Conan is so adorkable! I love him

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  • August 24, 2019 at 1:21 am
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    Hi Conan I’m a massive fan of yours.

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  • August 24, 2019 at 9:53 am
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    Conan isn't the riddler. Why you all surprised that Kevin gets his jokes?? Conan isn't on tv because people don't get him. Sorry to break this to you, but America isn't the only country where people like to laugh. I know that might be a shock to you, but its true.

    Reply
  • August 24, 2019 at 10:54 pm
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    Great chemistry

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  • August 25, 2019 at 5:38 am
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    Oh its Aussie Rickey Gervais

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  • August 25, 2019 at 9:00 pm
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    Connon O‘grylls

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  • August 26, 2019 at 3:41 am
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    Warning: Do not search for bunion nuts on Youtube!

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  • August 26, 2019 at 8:34 am
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    I’m almost 99.9% certain Conan does cocaine, I’ve been on a binge since 12:00 am and it is now 4:33 and all but two videos had a cocaine reference.

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  • August 26, 2019 at 3:18 pm
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    I checked under my desk for spiders and there actually was one.

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  • August 27, 2019 at 12:46 pm
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    Aussies have the best sense of humor and this proves it.

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  • August 27, 2019 at 3:31 pm
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    “So this can kill you?”
    “Yes”

    Welcome to Australia

    Reply
  • August 27, 2019 at 4:49 pm
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    Conan is too damn f6!!!that jacket is too much!!😭

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  • August 28, 2019 at 1:34 am
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    Hahaha this guy is good .. !! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

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  • August 28, 2019 at 3:54 am
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    He has no eye brows

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  • August 28, 2019 at 4:26 am
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    Conan looks like he belongs in the Village People.

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  • August 28, 2019 at 9:21 am
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    So this is what Creed's been doing

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  • August 28, 2019 at 10:37 am
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    Look at Conan’s feet at 6.42

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  • August 28, 2019 at 12:06 pm
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    Nice. You should go spend some real time with Kev and learn some things. You won’t regret it.

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  • August 28, 2019 at 8:20 pm
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    Conon should easily have Fallons job

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  • August 28, 2019 at 8:55 pm
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    Dante

    Reply
  • August 29, 2019 at 12:07 am
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    🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

    Reply
  • August 29, 2019 at 12:14 am
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    40% of this video- NUTS

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  • August 29, 2019 at 1:02 am
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    Conan really does have long legs!!

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  • August 29, 2019 at 10:40 am
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    Gotta love conan 😂😁

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  • August 30, 2019 at 4:14 pm
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    This is so funny😂😂😂

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  • August 30, 2019 at 7:16 pm
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    Oh yeah!!!

    Reply
  • August 31, 2019 at 4:48 am
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    So Eddie Izzard is a bushman.

    Reply
  • August 31, 2019 at 12:28 pm
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    Big meaty nuts! He's needs a cameo on Rick and Morty

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  • August 31, 2019 at 3:00 pm
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    Conan looks like my red dead redemption 2 character.

    Reply
  • August 31, 2019 at 4:05 pm
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    Life was better when Conan was on regular t.v.

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  • September 1, 2019 at 4:42 am
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    "Is that your first friction fire 🔥…well 🤣

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  • September 1, 2019 at 10:08 pm
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    Conan nearly killed me.

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  • September 2, 2019 at 11:45 pm
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    Australia, where even falling fruits are trying to kill you

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  • September 3, 2019 at 4:33 am
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    Messing with a Funnelweb is a death sentence. An extremely painful one too. Especially for people that don't know how vicious and aggressive they are. Even a Diamond Back will bite you once and back off. This monster will just go to work till you're done.

    Reply
  • September 3, 2019 at 3:21 pm
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    I've just realized that conan's humor is a perfect match for australia lol

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  • September 3, 2019 at 3:59 pm
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    Dear commercial people, please stop putting clapping, snapping and whistling in your adverts. We aren’t dogs. Thanks, everyone.

    Reply
  • September 3, 2019 at 6:59 pm
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    Kevin is having an awesome time. Conan has the superpower to make every Job look interesting and funny.

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  • September 3, 2019 at 7:41 pm
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    He sounds like corg

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  • September 3, 2019 at 7:46 pm
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    He looks like a toddler being forced to eat somthing 6:08

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  • September 4, 2019 at 3:55 am
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    .I reckon Kevin's a Kiwi.

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  • September 4, 2019 at 7:25 am
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    😂😂does your wife mind

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  • September 4, 2019 at 7:55 am
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    White man who stole Australia from Native

    And in Europe People crying about some Syrians

    Reply
  • September 4, 2019 at 2:14 pm
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    These shoulder too short I got to make them HES FUNNY

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  • September 4, 2019 at 7:11 pm
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    He looks like Crocodile Dundee. LOL
    (Conandille Dundee)

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  • September 5, 2019 at 7:57 am
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    It’s Kevin with a stick

    Reply

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