of iconic women, though — Alex, we need to spill the tea
from your girl here. -What?
-Because you just casually were at Queen B’s —
What was it — her Oscar party? Casually.
-What? -Beyoncé’s Oscar party.
-When? -I need a play-by-play
about you meeting the Queen. [ Cheers and applause ]
Please. -Here’s the thing, guys. I have no bones in my body. And I just sat there
and stared at her. [ Laughter ] Like intensely and silently. [ Laughter ]
And I felt so weird. And I was just like,
“What do I say?” Like, I’m like,
“Hello, Missus…Carter?” [ Laughter ] I stumbled a beat, and then I was like,
“Do I call her B? And if I call her B,
am I gonna feel weird about calling her B?
And then end with a -yoncé?” [ Laughter ] I just had no way of doing it. I was really trying hard
to think of something all night. So, I’m like dancing by myself. And then,
next thing I know, she leaves. Because, you know,
she’s a mother, and she wasn’t gonna hang out
at a party all night with a bunch of
single drunk people. So then I drank and then
word-vomited all over Adele. [ Audience “Oohs” ] -Wait, wait, wait, hold on. Let’s ask about
the details here. What did you say to Adele? -So, Adele’s, like,
standing their with her coat. And I was like, “I love you. And I just think
you’re incredible. And I love
how body-positive you are. And I love that you’re
making young women feel like
they can be hopeless romantics and not be called out
as dramatic.” And I was like, “I’m just so in
love with you and your voice.” [ Laughter ] -That’s so sweet.
-I was going for, like, deep, but I think what I gave her
was like — [Gibberish] [ Laughter ] But Adele was like,
“Yeah, thank you.” -Yeah.
[ Laughter ] -At that point,
I was like, “God, thank God I didn’t do that to Be-yoncé.”
[ Laughter ] -Yeah.
-Now, I got to say — Okay. So, I’ve had the privilege
of also being at a party where the Queen walked in.
-Ah. -It’s a spiritual experience. You know, the thing is —
-You feel her. -The thing is,
I felt her before she arrived. [ Laughter ]
Truly. You know, “Home Alone”?
I was just like, “Kevin!” I knew, I knew.
[ Laughter ] “Beyoncé?”
So I was there. I was talking to my friend,
and all of a sudden, I was like, “It’s hard to breathe
all of a sudden.” [ Laughter ] And then I saw the room,
and everyone was like… And I was like,
“Oh, no, it’s the plague.” And then —
[ Laughter ] And then, we turn,
and Beyoncé and Jay Z walk in, I’m like, “I get it — they suck
the air out of a room.” And everyone was like —
And then, I meet her. And I’m like —
[ Laughs nervously ] [ Laughter ] And we actually
went roller skating. -What?
-And so here we are — -What?
-Listen, y’all… -You actually, like,
roller-skated with her? -Okay, there was
other people there, but all I saw was Beyoncé.
[ Laughter ] So we’re there,
we’re roller-skating. We’re going, working.
I’m not great. So I’m about to fall,
and I kid you not — This is exactly what happened,
okay? I’m about to fall —
I’m about to fall, and then all of a sudden,
an angel, like this, was like, “Do you need a hand?”
And it was Beyoncé. -No.
[ Cheers and applause ] -And she was like —
And here’s the thing. What should I have done? I should’ve been like,
“Yes, thank you. Take me into your bosom.”
[ Laughter ] But instead, I was so shook,
just like you, And I was like, “I’m fine!”
[ Laughter ] And like a baby deer,
I got to my feet by myself. But I get it — it’s a whole
spiritual experience. -It’s so hard.
It’s so hard. It was almost like
you were that painting where you want
to touch fingertips with her, and you’re like, “B!”
[ Laughter ] Yoncé!